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What’s the appeal of cam sex?

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I caught up with my buddy Chet, to talk about his experiences of cam-sex.

Chet has to remain anonymous for this interview due to the nature of his work.

When did you first start connecting with guys online?

I remember early chat rooms for gay men in the mid-90s. For me, that progressed through to better video communication involving multiple hardware pieces that supported software like Skype.

But camming wasn’t really satisfying until unified systems like tablets and smartphones made the connection process easier.

I increasingly found that chat was absurd, phoney, and unnatural when compared to seeing and hearing another man as you both stroked.

How do you connect with someone for cam-sex?

I have a limited number of connections that I’ve found through different means. I am open to camming with new men, but generally it’s the same small group of guys that I connect with. Some connections are past personal encounters, some connections are direct from apps that have group cam meet-ups. After participating in a group cam, I connect with guys who interest me or who are interested in me. Some are secondary connections from both of the previous two categories.

Generally, I prefer other middle-aged men who are generally fit, masculine, and who honestly like pig-play without hang-ups.

What normally happens during a cam-sex encounter?

It varies due to constraints — time, proximity of partner who often doesn’t know — and desire. I may do a quick jerk show for a bud, and we’re done in five minutes. On a two dildo day, I may warm up on my 9-incher orally and ride it for a while before moving to big-boy, my 11-incher. On horny days I can do this and shoot three or four times.

What do you enjoy most about a cam-sex encounter?

I enjoy the process. I love stroking my hard lubed cock and showing off my body. But I also like letting men lead me in what I do. I enjoy the reactions as they see me ride my big-boy dildo, and I think they enjoy seeing me getting pleasure from that overwhelmingly incredible feeling.

If someone was interested in giving cam-sex a try, what advice or guidance would you give them?

Have a reasonably sized tablet — that way you have flexibility in framing yourself well for your cam-buddy and so you can also see your cam-buddy easily. Prepare so you have everything you want or need — lube, toys, towels — within easy reach. Know your app/hardware well so your partner (who is unaware that you cam) doesn’t hear the ring song as you call your bate buddies and walk in on you camming which leads to accidental broadcasting of your partner’s face and rage all over the internet. Finally, know that people may record you without needing your permission.

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Arts & Culture

Photography that embraces naked men

“Stop comparing ourselves to strangers on the internet…”

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Arrested Movement by Anthony Patrick Manieri (image supplied)
Arrested Movement by Anthony Patrick Manieri (image supplied)

I caught up with photographer Anthony Patrick Manieri to talk about his ongoing series of work known as Arrested Movement.

Why do you think this project has captured the imagination of gay men around the world?

Because we’re all the same really, except we don’t all look alike. We usually just see what society deems to be the ‘perfect’ body types, flashed across TV and social media all the time.

This project encompasses a wide variety of men that are photographed equally and beautifully. I feel that the variety of men and body shapes being highlighted are recognisable to most men. We need to see diversity represented more in the media. That, and also the idea of male body positivity is refreshing in a world where the media seems to only push female body positivity. In this day and age, where depression and anxiety are extremely commonplace, it’s nice to know that we’re not alone in the struggle.

Why are men so keen to be photographed by you for this project?

Because we all want to fit in. We all want to be accepted, and here is a photographic series celebrating all men, all body types, and showcasing them artistically. I think men look at this and can relate and identify with some of the participating models, because they see themselves in the photos.

Most of the men you’ve photographed for this project appear to be first-time models, most likely being professionally photographed naked for the first time. Was that experience confronting for many of your models?

From what I’ve seen, and from what some of my assistants mentioned to me, for most of the men that participate there’s a definite shift in their overall energy levels from when they first arrive at the studio to when they’re done. One assistant asked me — “What is going on in the studio? Because when they arrive they’re quite scared, some even shake with nerves, but when they leave they glow and have this sense of empowerment.”

I make sure that the studio is private and a safe space for them to try and feel as comfortable as possible. I brief them, and coach them with suggestions of possible body movement. I also stop periodically to show the gentlemen their progression so far in the shoot.

Most men, after seeing themselves on the screen during the shoot, are delightfully impressed by how they look. They look at themselves in a positive light artistically, and not what they usually expect to see. I talk to them about how their hands are positioned, their facial expressions, pointing of their feet, and the overall lines of their bodies in the frame.

When you’re not quite happy with your body, putting yourself out there is brave. I watch some men almost lose themselves in the moment and in the music. I’m grateful that I get to witness such a personal moment of self-evolution. For others, they’re determined to take an amazing photo, so they push themselves so that their final image is strong and unique.

Should everyone tackle a naked photo shoot at some point in their lives?

I don’t know if that’s the answer. What people should do is take time to appreciate and accept themselves, to put themselves first. Fill their own cups before extinguishing their energy with others. Uniqueness is special. It’s okay to look different on the outside, because we’re all the same on the inside.

How is the project continuing to evolve?

I’m currently working on the design of the book — I’ll be releasing a Kickstarter page this Fall. I’m also looking at gallery spaces to have the first of many shows.

Are you still actively shooting guys for this project?

I’m still actively photographing men. If it were up to me, I’d be in a different city every weekend photographing.

Since I’m funding this myself, I need to take breaks between cities. Travelling, studio costs, and hotels add up quickly. There are a few cities in the US, Canada, and Mexico that I’d like to do before heading back to Europe. Beyond that, there’s talk of Australia, and possibly some cities in South America for 2019.

How can we help each other feel better about our bodies?

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I think we really need to be kind to ourselves, and each other — daily. Judgement and self-judgement is such a human flaw, it’s like a vibrational plague. We should be detaching ourselves from our smart-phones and social media regularly. Yoga and meditation are great ways to feel centred and grounded, to be in tune with our higher self. Eating right always makes for a happier body and mind. We need to encourage and validate each other to be the best we can be.

What do the images that you’ve captured through this project tell us about gay men and their relationship with their bodies?

Gay culture is meant to be inclusive, and we celebrate that inclusiveness. Though within the gay community, there’s such a divide between men. We’re labelled and put in categories, therefore creating almost a hierarchy of what’s acceptable.

Body-image and self-esteem start in your own mind, not on Instagram. We need to literally stop comparing ourselves to strangers on the internet. We need to make mental health a priority in the gay community.

I hope that when people see this project, they know their worth, they know that they’re beautiful, and that it’s okay to be different.

Meet the participants

Follow Arrested Movement on Instagram

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