I have an active imagination and bring this into the work I do as a psychologist and sexologist. One of the more interesting questions I ask my clients when they are coming for treatment for a sexual problem, such as Erectile Dysfunction or Premature Ejaculation is: “If your penis could talk, what would he say?” When I ask this, I normally am confronted with a strange look upon my client’s face. However, once this is answered it often reveals the source of the problem for most men’s sexual dysfunctions.
If you have ever suffered from performance anxiety, or have experienced an issue in the bedroom, which is very common, you may want to ask yourself this question. Overall, I don’t feel that sexual dysfunctions are properly understood by men. As a sexologist, my job is to determine whether the issue is biological, psychological or both in its cause. The answer to the origin of the problem will then help me determine the method that I will use to treat the issue clinically. This question is one of the methods I use to help me with this process.
You can help yourself to unravel some of the mystery of your own sexual functioning if you imagine that your penis could talk. What would he say about the type of people you are sleeping with? What would he say about how quickly you decide to put him into dark, tight places? What would he say about the types of places you take him and show him? I find that most men don’t reflect often enough on these questions. The consequence of not thinking about how we feel about our sexual experiences are sexual dysfunctions and relationship issues. Perhaps you too have never thought about the relevance of feeling safe, happy, satisfied and attracted to the people you are having sex with?
It may surprise many readers, but many of the people I speak with will have sex with people that they are not attracted to. Many people will have sex with people they are angry with or afraid of. Many people rush to sexualise a relationship because they think it will help them to keep a partner around. These unhelpful but popular approaches will create sexual dysfunctions such as Premature Ejaculation and Erectile Dysfunction. If you want to improve your confidence in the bedroom then take my advice, listen to what your penis is trying to tell you!
The truth about sexual dysfunctions is that they are normally a way in which the body is trying to protect you. Think about it, if you are feeling unsafe in a relationship, it would make sense for your penis to not show up and hide if he was feeling insecure. Same for if he was angry also, he would be stupid to have sex with someone he was angry with and quite clever if he passively aggressively didn’t give the other person what they wanted, i.e. a good orgasm. Many people make jokes about how men think with the other head besides the one on top of their neck, there is a lot of truth to this joke. We men do tend to think with our penis, but we were not taught about how to listen to what he is saying.
Take my advice, the next time you have some issues in the bedroom, ask yourself what your penis is saying. The answer might surprise you and will help you improve your sex life.
Visit Justin’s website to learn more about his services or follow him on his professional Facebook page. If you have any questions that you would like Justin to answer or topics that you want him to write about email him at: [email protected] (Please note that the identity of those asking any questions will always be kept confidential).
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Butt sex for beginners
I caught up with Chris Davis from TAKE TWO to discuss how a dietary supplement can play an important role in anal sex.
What led you to create the TAKE TWO dietary supplement?
We saw an opportunity to deliver the absolute highest quality of dietary fibre blends to a demanding market, while offering a premium alternative with high-end, discreet packaging that really sets us apart from other brands.
My understanding is that there are similar types of fibre supplement products on the market, but I haven’t seen anyone else market them specifically to men as an aid to anal sex. Why did you decide to focus on that market?
Pure for Men is the clear market leader and actually does speak to clean anal sex, however, we’ve found what is considered to be a more effective formula that delivers even better results.
We decided to make a splash in the market after early customer reviews raved about just how much of a difference TAKE TWO made to their digestive health and confidence in the bedroom. We also found that a lot of customers prefer discreet packaging and bottle labels, which matches the high-end look and feel of TAKE TWO.
Is TAKE TWO an alternative to douching or just an additional option to help guys be clean and confident?
We like the idea of have additional tools in the shed for every occasion! TAKE TWO is not meant to completely eliminate the need for general maintenance and hygiene, but we have found that many of our customers spend 70 percent less time ‘getting ready’ while some users have forgone traditional preparation steps, altogether. We’re such strong believers in the above claims that we stand by these promised results with a money-back guarantee.
The edition that you’ve created in partnership with the Tom of Finland Foundation looks great — why was the imagery of Tom of Finland a good fit for TAKE TWO?
It’s no secret that here in the office, we love the rich, leather-bound imagery rooted in Tom of Finland’s unique catalogue of art. It was an obvious match to the leather-like look and feel of our standard TAKE TWO bottle design, and not at all hard to imagine how amazing the Tom of Finland art would look if properly featured on the TAKE TWO product.
We worked closely with the Tom of Finland Foundation to identify some of the most iconic pieces, and coupled them with the jaw-dropping metallic backing on each panel to give that one-of-a-kind finish. After the first bottle was completed, we knew it was a winning bet.
Customers have fallen in love with the result, and we’re already getting daily requests for new favourite pieces of Tom of Finland artwork to be featured next.
How do you market your product?
We rely heavily on word-of-mouth, but have run a few very successful campaigns on social networks and dating apps like Scruff and Hornet. We’ve also partnered with doctors serving the LGBTQ community around the US who see the immense value in supporting fibre-rich diets via TAKE TWO’s premium blend of soluble and insoluble fibres. You’ll likely see TAKE TWO popping up in various radio, television and social media campaigns featuring respected online personalities that have made the switch to better fibre.
I was interested to see in your Q&As that you specifically talk about the product’s capability with PrEP — was that a question that you were receiving from customers or did you just want to proactively address any potential concerns that might be out there?
Although risks are determined to be relatively low when it comes to dietary fibre supplements and medications like PrEP, we wanted to be 100 percent certain that best-practices are being followed to eliminate any doubts.
If I was a young guy, just starting to explore my sexuality, what hints or tips would you give to make anal sex as enjoyable as possible?
- Get to know yourself and your body inside and out. This includes everything from exploring tools like lubricant and practising with safe objects and toys to get a feel for what works for you.
- Be sure you are comfortable with and trust your sexual partners before diving in.
- Remain sex-positive and remember that sex is a long journey — an experience that is meant to be enjoyable.
- Take your time and communicate freely before, during, and after playtime.
- Play safe!
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