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Health

The stupid game

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Recently, I was on set shooting a TV show that I was asked to contribute to as their expert therapist. My job was to speak on camera to several of the show’s guests about any sex, relationship or mental health concerns they had. This is always an enjoyable experience, as I love being on camera and teaching people about good mental health and giving expert advice. My biggest pet peeve is that there are many people who don’t know their ass from their elbow and they always seem to be giving unsolicited advice which is normally shit. Quick tip — only take advice from a qualified professional!

One of the show’s guests brought up an important question — “What do I do about my boyfriend who won’t respond to my text messages?” They shared their frustration and confusion at why their boyfriend wouldn’t ever respond to their text messages. They wanted to know if this was possibly related to some of the sexual issues that they were having in the bedroom. The answer was “Yes!” Their sexual issues were directly due to some of the relationship issues that were unresolved, including the text messages.

As the cameras filmed, I began to speak about one of my relationship concepts which I’ve titled “The Stupid Game.” Individuals and couples that I work with play this game all the time, and the consequence are that it causes a tremendous amount of suffering and disappointment. Odds are, you’re playing this with someone now too.

The rules of “The Stupid Game”

  1. No one ever talks about the rules.

  2. No one explains the rules.

  3. Everyone is expected to play “The Stupid Game” as an adult.

How the game is played

This is how the game is played. If you hurt someone’s feelings, they’re supposed to tell you — “You hurt my feelings when you did or said…..” and then your part in the game is to acknowledge this and then apologise — “I’m sorry that I did that, it won’t happen again.” However, when it does happen again, this is no accident. The first time it happens we can call it an accident, the second time is intentional or careless. The other person is supposed to say “You did it again, that thing you know hurts my feelings.” Your part in The Stupid Game is to say — “You see, this is why I don’t like spending time with you, you are too sensitive.” “You know that this was just a joke.” “You are over reacting again, you always do this.” Let’s not forget my personal favourite — “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Now, this is where things usually get very interesting. What’s being asked of us when we’re given an excuse similar to those above is that we’re being asked to believe that the other person doesn’t have the commonsense of a three-year-old child. I say ‘a three-year-old child’ because it’s at this age that most children start to demonstrate that they have an awareness that their actions can influence other’s feelings.

Somewhere between three years of age and adulthood we start to play The Stupid Game. Don’t fall for it! Most adults have the commonsense of a three-year-old child, if they don’t, why are you trying to engage with them?

What To Do And The Facts

Only people who want low self-esteem will play this game. My advice is to respect yourself and don’t play this game whenever you’re invited to do so. Trust that most adults have the commonsense to understand how their actions will make others feel. The sad part is that many just don’t want to consider this inconvenient truth. There are only 24 hours in a day and they just don’t want to make time to take into consideration your feelings. You are not a priority for them, and they are telling this to you each time they play ignorant to the fact that they really do and can understand your feelings.

My advice is to call them out on what they’ve done, in a constructive way. Be honest, use simple language, and don’t let them get away with murder. If they refuse to answer for their crimes against love, then you’re faced with a simple question to answer — Do I stay and continue to be disrespected, or do I go? I hope you’ll answer with “Go.”

Love pushes us to be a better version of ourselves. It is patient and kind. It means that we hold others responsible for their actions and it also means forgiveness — but it doesn’t mean that we must act like a doormat in order to receive it.

Visit Justin’s website to learn more about his services or follow him on his professional Facebook page. If you have any questions that you would like Justin to answer or topics that you want him to write about email him at: [email protected] (Please note that the identity of those asking any questions will always be kept confidential).

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Health

Butt sex for beginners

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I caught up with Chris Davis from TAKE TWO to discuss how a dietary supplement can play an important role in anal sex.

What led you to create the TAKE TWO dietary supplement?

We saw an opportunity to deliver the absolute highest quality of dietary fibre blends to a demanding market, while offering a premium alternative with high-end, discreet packaging that really sets us apart from other brands.

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My understanding is that there are similar types of fibre supplement products on the market, but I haven’t seen anyone else market them specifically to men as an aid to anal sex. Why did you decide to focus on that market?

Pure for Men is the clear market leader and actually does speak to clean anal sex, however, we’ve found what is considered to be a more effective formula that delivers even better results.

We decided to make a splash in the market after early customer reviews raved about just how much of a difference TAKE TWO made to their digestive health and confidence in the bedroom. We also found that a lot of customers prefer discreet packaging and bottle labels, which matches the high-end look and feel of TAKE TWO.

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Is TAKE TWO an alternative to douching or just an additional option to help guys be clean and confident?

We like the idea of have additional tools in the shed for every occasion! TAKE TWO is not meant to completely eliminate the need for general maintenance and hygiene, but we have found that many of our customers spend 70 percent less time ‘getting ready’ while some users have forgone traditional preparation steps, altogether. We’re such strong believers in the above claims that we stand by these promised results with a money-back guarantee.

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The edition that you’ve created in partnership with the Tom of Finland Foundation looks great — why was the imagery of Tom of Finland a good fit for TAKE TWO?

It’s no secret that here in the office, we love the rich, leather-bound imagery rooted in Tom of Finland’s unique catalogue of art. It was an obvious match to the leather-like look and feel of our standard TAKE TWO bottle design, and not at all hard to imagine how amazing the Tom of Finland art would look if properly featured on the TAKE TWO product.

We worked closely with the Tom of Finland Foundation to identify some of the most iconic pieces, and coupled them with the jaw-dropping metallic backing on each panel to give that one-of-a-kind finish. After the first bottle was completed, we knew it was a winning bet.

Customers have fallen in love with the result, and we’re already getting daily requests for new favourite pieces of Tom of Finland artwork to be featured next.

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How do you market your product?

We rely heavily on word-of-mouth, but have run a few very successful campaigns on social networks and dating apps like Scruff and Hornet. We’ve also partnered with doctors serving the LGBTQ community around the US who see the immense value in supporting fibre-rich diets via TAKE TWO’s premium blend of soluble and insoluble fibres. You’ll likely see TAKE TWO popping up in various radio, television and social media campaigns featuring respected online personalities that have made the switch to better fibre.

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I was interested to see in your Q&As that you specifically talk about the product’s capability with PrEP — was that a question that you were receiving from customers or did you just want to proactively address any potential concerns that might be out there?

Although risks are determined to be relatively low when it comes to dietary fibre supplements and medications like PrEP, we wanted to be 100 percent certain that best-practices are being followed to eliminate any doubts.

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If I was a young guy, just starting to explore my sexuality, what hints or tips would you give to make anal sex as enjoyable as possible?

  • Get to know yourself and your body inside and out. This includes everything from exploring tools like lubricant and practising with safe objects and toys to get a feel for what works for you.
  • Be sure you are comfortable with and trust your sexual partners before diving in.
  • Remain sex-positive and remember that sex is a long journey — an experience that is meant to be enjoyable.
  • Take your time and communicate freely before, during, and after playtime.
  • Play safe!
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