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Sex-free for 100 days

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I caught up with my buddy Chet, to talk about the soul-searching he’s embarked on as he approaches his fiftieth birthday.

Chet has to remain anonymous for this interview due to the nature of his work.

Turning 50
As I approach the half-century mark, I first have to express gratitude for having lived this long. I also have to express gratitude that I’m still interested in, capable of, and exploring with sex.

Hooking Up
Recently I committed to taking a break from the drama of hooking up. This was triggered by my last two encounters. The first was with five guys at a men’s campground. The second was a one-on-one squirt.org connection.

Both encounters were awesome at the time, but there was emotional turbulence after each. The turbulence was that the guys were wanting more — more encounters, more of a relationship, more leading on without either a clear goal or a positive reason.

Soul Searching
Breaking from that drama meant that I had to do some soul-searching about how I want sex to fit in my life.

My fantasy is to replace Lincoln Gates in Public Meat, and get rammed bareback by Sam Porter, but that’s not anything more than a wish. My reality began with asking myself — Am I desirable, to myself? That question isn’t intended to be vain or narcissistic. Instead, the question is intended to take an inventory of my positive and negative aspects and to try to improve on the negative aspects.

So, over the past 100 sex-free days, I’ve been working on improving tangible and intangible components in my life.

100 sex-free days
In these past one hundred sex-free days, I committed to thinking about my life more honestly. I did think about sex a lot, and there was some internal conflict as I signed up for and deleted gay hook-up apps. But, with a look away from finding that next partner, I revised what I want from life — especially regarding fitness, work, and relationships.

In the past three years, I purposefully lost weight for medical reasons. Now, I realised that I want to lose ten pounds more for that 30-inch waistline — for those medium or small swim-briefs, for less pounding on my knees when I run, and for more normal levels of cholesterol.

Regarding work, I’ve been torn between two large interests in my work life. I realised the interest I have neglected that now offers more satisfaction and a possible extension for my career.

While clarity has emerged regarding fitness and work, I remain unsettled with respect to my relationship goals. I have jerked off with a bud or two on cam over the past three plus months, and I jerk-off every day — at least once, frequently twice — to relieve my own sexual energy. I’d love to find another man — not a flake, not an immature needy guy, and not an avoidant diffuse chameleon — but a physically and emotionally mature male who has direction with whom I can share my 5’11” 165lb, 31W, runner-pig-bottom body.

Beyond, the physical though, things are fuzzy but I have a start. To quote Meatloaf — ‘Two out of three ain’t bad…’ so I’m willing to give myself some more time on this one.

What next?
I have improved my life through this period of celibate reflection, but I’m still not ready to connect yet. I don’t miss the time or hours trying to find Mr Right Now or Misters Right Now for group-fun. I don’t miss post-encounter stress about STIs. I also don’t miss post-encounter stress from relationship seekers.

This solo journey isn’t over yet. Tune in for more.

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Life

Thinking about getting a Prince Albert?

Jack Pierce: “Be prepared for a knowing wink at airport security.”

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Jack Pierce (image supplied)
Jack Pierce (image supplied)

I caught up with Jack Pierce to talk about piercings and the allure of a Prince Albert.

What led you to decide to get a PA?

I’d always liked the look of a dick with a PA, I still do. Even the initial small gauge piercing ring looks great on a cock. I’d been fucked a few times by guys with PAs, and it felt really good inside me. I wanted the guys that I had sex with to experience the same with me.

Were you nervous?

All the guys I’ve spoken with about it agree that it takes a while to pluck up the courage to visit the piercer to get the deed done. For me, it was a good six months between deciding to have a PA and actually getting it done. On the particular day I got it, I hadn’t planned to do it that day, I just decided during the morning at work to pop into town and get it done. A bad move as it turned out!

The piercer applied numbing spray to my uncut head, and we waited for 10 minutes. Nervous and anticipating the upcoming pain, I lied and told him there was still feeling there. More was sprayed on.

With me watching and holding my now semi-erect penis — apparently a common occurrence according to my piercer — the needle was swiftly pushed through the head and the ring followed it and was fastened. Painless, thanks to the numbness of my cock.

Back at work less than an hour later, my decision to have the piercing done in the middle of my work day was shown not to be the best idea — the bleeding started and the numbness wore off. I headed home early.

Jack Pierce (image supplied)

How long does it take to heal?

The healing process took about four weeks, with the easing of a month of pissing broken glass. It may have been sooner, but as with many recipients of this particular type of piercing I was keen to try it out. Learning to piss with an additional hole down there is also something I hadn’t planned for. Thankfully, I have a foreskin to help direct the streams.

The usual morning glory proved to be painful for the first couple of weeks, but that didn’t stop me from using it for its desired purpose within the first week. In retrospect, with the size of the ring put in it wouldn’t have made a considerable difference to the recipient, despite the ring being unencumbered by a condom. I had sex with the ring in before I had tried masturbating.

What size gauge have you currently got in?

I’m currently sporting a 0 gauge or 8mm ring. This has an internal diameter of 28mm, with a 12mm ball.

After the initial sizing up to a mere 4mm after six months, I had a period where I was satisfied with the size and didn’t feel the need to increase. I’ve had the PA for 15 years now, and had a period of a few years where I had no ring in at all thanks to a partner who didn’t like it. The things we do for love!

Once that relationship was over, I decided to try to reopen the piercing myself. I bought a new ring, and it went in without the need to visit a piercer. Thankfully, the hole was still open. Since this rediscovery, I’ve sized up from 4mm to 6mm to 8mm every six months. Will I size up again? Probably.

What sort of maintenance is required?

Maintenance during the healing process is vitally important to prevent infection, but it’s not rocket science.

After sizing up, it can be a good idea to apply a little lube every now and then to ensure the new, larger ring runs through the hole smoothly while the natural stretching takes place.

Once healed, very little maintenance is required. It just becomes part of your regular genital hygiene, and should always be washed after a sexual encounter to prevent a UTI. A larger ring on a big cock can reach the parts other cocks can’t reach, so this last post-sex procedure is pretty important.

Be prepared for the ring not to be as clean when it comes out as when it went in, especially after a rough session.

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What sort of reaction do you get from guys?

Even today, this type of piercing doesn’t seem to be too common — lots of guys tell me that I’m their first. The presence of the ring can put some guys off, especially with the size of ring I have in at the moment.

Guys who are experienced with a PA are adept at taking the ring orally, without the fear of damaging teeth. The wearer of the ring must be prepared to have the frequency of oral sex decreased if, like me, they’re unwilling to remove the ring.

As an experienced top who isn’t accustomed to inflicting pain on a guy — unless requested — I always prepare a guy’s ass for the experience. Being girthy down there anyway, it’s something which is a part of my sexual routine. Once inside, I’m told that the ring adds to the experience and can be used to massage the prostate. A hands-free ejaculation from the recipient is a common occurrence.

Jack Pierce (image supplied)

Do you always fuck with it in?

I always fuck with the ring in. I won’t remove it — guys I meet are aware of the presence and size of the ring before we fuck, so I ensure that it’s not a surprise to them when the jock comes off.

There has been the odd occasion where my cock has had a lot of action during a weekend — especially where un-lubed holes have been involved — and I can be a little sore. To help this, I prefer to size-down the jewellery as opposed to go ring-free. It really does feel strange without a ring in there.

If someone was thinking about getting a PA, what advice or guidance would you give them?

I’ve never regretted having my piercing, the initial discomfort is soon forgotten. The benefits of having a ring in the end of your cock are many. The addition of a ring makes a good-looking cock look even better. The orgasm you get when masturbating is heightened considerably, so it’s something a guy who usually bottoms should also consider. The sexual experience for both the owner of the ring and the recipient is improved to the point that you will never want to fuck without it.

If you’re thinking of taking a needle down there, my advice would be to just go for it. What have you got to lose? Pay close attention to the healing hygiene process, which is as easy as dangling your dick in a glass of sea-salted water once a day for a few weeks. Plus, you should be prepared for the knowing wink you’ll receive at the airport metal detector.

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Jack Pierce (image supplied)

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