Kicking off in September 2019, the next Rugby World Cup will be held in Japan.
While there may not be a direct correlation between penis size and performance, let’s take a look at how the qualified teams measure up.
The qualified teams are ranked by average penis size when erect and we’ve compared their penis-size ranking to the team’s current ranking in world rugby (as at 17 September 2018).
1.Georgia: 16 cm. / 6.299 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 13
2. Italy: 15.74 cm. / 6.197 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 14
3. South Africa: 15.29 cm. / 6.020 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 5
4. Namibia: 15.29 cm. / 6.020 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 22
5. Uruguay: 15.14 cm. / 5.961 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 18
6. Argentina: 14.88 cm. / 5.858 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 9
7. Scotland: 14.3 cm. / 5.63 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 6
8. New Zealand: 13.99 cm. / 5.508 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 1
9. Fiji: 13.99 cm. / 5.508 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 10
10. Wales: 13.97 cm. / 5.5 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 3
11. England: 13.97 cm. / 5.5 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 4
12. France: 13.53 cm. / 5.327 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 8
13. Australia: 13.31 cm. / 5.240 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 7
14. Russia: 13.21 cm. / 5.201 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 19
15. Samoa: 12.90 cm. / 5.079 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 16
16. Tonga: 12.90 cm. / 5.79 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 12
17. United States: 12.90 cm. / 5.079 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 15
18. Ireland: 12.78 cm. / 5.031 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 2
19. Japan: 10.92 cm. / 4.299 in.
- Current world rugby ranking: 11
There is still one place up for grabs in the starting line-up of the 2019 Rugby World Cup. A repechage round will be held in Marseille, France in November 2018.
The four teams competing in the round-robin repechage round are::
- Kenya: 15.90 cm. / 6.26 in.
- Germany: 14.48 cm. / 5.701 in.
- Canada: 13.92 cm. / 5.480 in.
- Hong Kong: 11.19 cm. / 4.406 in.
The team that finishes top of the table will secure a place in the 2019 tournament in Japan.
What does penis-size tell us about rugby performance?
- Based on past performances of the competing teams, it seems as if using national-average penis size data isn’t a particularly helpful way of predicting performance.
- It is possible that penis size has no bearing on rugby ability.
- In order to continue this analysis, we’ll probably need to get some more precise measurements on the players in each national squad.
Our research continues.
*information source: AverageHeight.co
Read more from Gareth Johnson
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Fit footballers demonstrate that soccer can be sexy.
Although it’s surprising that there aren’t more gay guys playing football at an elite level, the reality is that sport doesn’t get much gayer than soccer.
If you want to demonstrate that you’re up-to-speed with the off-side rule, or if you just want to project your locker-room fantasies onto some fit guys, then this selection of some of the world’s best footballers is a good place to start.
Yann Sommer, Switzerland
A sexy goal-keeper with strong hands. Known for his love of cooking. I’m dreaming of a romantic fondue date.
Heung-min Son, South Korea
He plays for UK club Tottenham, and his bromance with ex-teammate Kevin Wimmer is adorable. He could invade my demilitarised zone.
Cristiano Ronaldo, Portugal
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André Silva, Portugal
That moustache. That baby-face. It’s just all too cute. He plays for AC Milan, but his Instagram suggests that he really wants to model.
Mohamed Salah, Egypt
Mo Salah is one of the greatest players, so it was disappointing to see that during the recent World Cup he and his teammates from the Egyptian squad allowed themselves to be used as propaganda to bolster the image of anti-gay Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov. Chechnya was selected as the training base for the Egyptian squad.
Nacer Chadli, Belgium
Chadli gets bonus points for his nude photo shoot a couple of years ago. It’s an example that more players should follow.
David Silva, Spain
Those eyes, those cheekbones. Silva has recently become a father. Total Xaddy.
Philippe Coutinho, Brazil
Signed to Barcelona in one of the most expensive deals in football history, it’s Coutinho’s tattoos that have got my attention. Every inch of him is inked. Well, maybe not every inch, but a lot of him.
Kylian Mbappé, France
He’s only young, but Mbappé is already making a name for himself as an intelligent and articulate leader on and off the field.
Mats Hummels, Germany
Handsome, moody, but also has a playful side. Hummels is known for his charitable work — particularly focused on helping to bring football to under-privileged kids.
Nicolás Tagliafico, Argentina
His Insta feed is full of loved-up photos of Tagliafico and his girlfriend, but there’s something about Argentine guys that’s just irresistible.
James Rodríguez, Colombia
He looks young and fresh-faced, but Rodriguez has a lot going on. He’s just launched his own crypto-currency. But what I like are the salsa moves he performs after a scoring a goal, and he scores a lot of goals.
Maya Yoshida, Japan
A rock-solid defender, Yoshida plays with UK club Southampton. He’s surprisingly tall.
Dele Alli, England
With a fashion line already released, Dele is a stylish guy. I really like his brotherhood bond with Harry Hickford. Dele moved in with Hickford’s family when he was 13, and they’ve been close ever since. They’re still living together, but they’ve upgraded to a fairly massive house in Hertfordshire.
Edinson Cavani, Uruguay
One of Uruguay’s top-scorers, Cavani gives good hair-ography.
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