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Sandy Pianim

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You may recognise this Daddy-Pup duo from out and about on the fetish scene, their kink friendly, sex education YouTube channel – Watts The Safeword or their other online “sexploits”. It’s fair to say these guys are fetish connoisseurs. We caught up with them in the Mr S Leather studio in San Francisco to discuss their relationship and all things BDSM.

Sandy Pianim with mrKristofer and PupAmp
Sandy Pianim with mrKristofer and PupAmp | Photo: Recon

The conversation starts at the beginning. “The pup came along at a time in my life when I was in transition of a relationship, and he taught me all about puppies. He’s been the best companion I’ve had ever since…” shares mrKristofer, when talking about how they met almost five years ago.

PupAmp goes on to explain that they met at IML and knew of mrKristofer’s online bondage work beforehand. mrKristofer remembers the moment, “I was tying up boys for demos and he was skulking around hoping to get tied up. He had such a sexy ass I was like… Do you want to get tied up?!”

In the beginning their Daddy-Pup relationship was very open and all about casual play. They didn’t refer to themselves as dating or boyfriends, it was just about affection and taking care of one another. “There was definitely some love involved there.” PupAmp says, describing how they started. mrKristofer emphasises that there was a lot of love, but he was a little standoffish. “I told him that I wasn’t ready for another relationship and he said, ‘That’s ok, I’m just a puppy. I’m here to make you happy.’ I thought, now that I can do!”

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Over time they evolved into what they are today. They’ve had poly family relationships where other guys have come in and out. They’ve even had relationships independent of each other but, mrKristofer describes PupAmp as his rock, stating “Nobody argues with the puppy, puppy is always right.”

Conducting an open relationship of any kind can be tricky but PupAmp gives this piece of advice. “FOMO exists, there’s always going to be jealously here and there. It’s a matter of being really good at communicating. I think kinksters statistically are better at doing [this], and just being able say how something makes you feel and being able to work past that. We’re not built for monogamy.”

With that in mind, we were intrigued to find how and what they used Recon for. Both are very particular when viewing member profiles, using what they find there to make informed decisions about whether to engage. “I tend to look at a person’s pictures first and foremost” says PupAmp, “Their descriptions, [then] if they have friends or people you can reference.” For him, all of this information comes together to get a sense of how credible a player they are. mrKristofer agrees with this tactic but adds “…It is where I get most of the people I play with.”

A word of warning before you hit the cruise button on mrKristofer’s profile, though: have variety in your photos, and if they feature any bondage, make sure it’s not sloppy. Asked for a bad example he states “[A] single granny knot to a chair at the wrong pressure points. You can determine someone’s skill level.” Then explaining why good bondage matters, “BDSM is such a special experience. It’s a power control thing. That’s what I find sexy, tying someone down or being tied down. You are giving the other person complete control to do anything.”

mrKristofer and PupAmp from Watts the Safeword
mrKristofer and PupAmp from Watts the Safeword | Photo: Recon

PupAmp recalls how he learned bondage through watching kinky porn. His younger self always wished there was some sort of fetish figure that he could look up to for advice and guidance. Being a child of the internet, he wanted to see gay, kinky, sex positive content creators. The lack of this type of content inspired him and friend, Bolt to create their own YouTube channel, Watts the Safeword – which has found huge success.

When Bolt moved to Seattle, mrKristofer stepping up to co-host Watts the Safeword and to share his unique take on fetish. They have guests and viewers reach out to them, picking topics for them to discuss in their videos. They’ve effectively created the supportive online community that a young PupAmp always craved. Their ability to make educational fetish content for all – regardless of gender and sexuality – empowers viewers and provides them with the tools to go forth and explore their own kinks. The couple are doing their bit to make the scene as visible as possible, which can only further the fetish community as a whole.

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When asked what we can all do to strengthen the community, mrKristofer smiles “Having a puppy has taught me to be more accepting of other people’s kinks. I come from an older background where it’s ‘This is the way you do leather and anything outside of how we learned to do leather is wrong.’ We need to be more accepting that everyone has different kinks and fetishes. It’s grown exponentially over the last few years and we have to accept all of it.”

We couldn’t agree more.

Originally published in Recon Issue_01. Available in print and digitally via Recon.com

Join Recon by signing up for free on Recon.com or download the app for IOS and Android via recon.com/app.

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How to navigate a gay sex club

Dick Baker shares his play-book.

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Dick Baker

Ever wondered how a gay sex club or a sex party works? I caught up for a coffee with my Twitter buddy Dick Baker to swap tips on how to navigate a club full of horned-up guys.

What led you to try out a sex club for the first time?

Hard On in London was the first sex club party that I went to. I’d never been to anything like that before, but I’d heard a lot about it on social media. I wanted to experience it, to try it out, experiment. I wanted to see if it was any good.

How does a club like Hard On work?

You walk in, and then you get changed.

The dress code for Hard On isn’t as strict as some other places. Hard On caters to a wide range of fetishes — rubber, leather, sports wear, or full-on naked

They have a basic locker-room changing area, so you don’t have to ride the tube in your gear.

But you are getting changed in front of everyone — this isn’t the place to come to if you’re modest or shy.

What did you wear on your first visit to Hard On?

A jock-strap, sports socks, and a harness.

These days I always start off wearing a jock-strap, but I end up taking that off pretty quickly and just stuff it in one of my socks so I don’t lose it. I get more attention when I’m naked.

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Who do you go with?

I generally go by myself.

There’s hundreds of guys there, but it can sometimes feel a bit lonely by yourself. I generally know a few people there, people to chat with when you’re grabbing a drink or having a smoke.

Dick Backer in front of Clozone in London
Dick Backer in front of Clozone store in Soho, London | Photo supplied

It would be nice to go with a group of guys, that way you can go off and have some fun and then come back together to drink and chat and dance.

What’s the layout of a club like Hard On?

Downstairs there’s the main dance floor, the main bar, and two play areas. Upstairs is the main dark room, sofas, and a corridor with slings, benches, and private cabins.

It gets so busy that sometimes you feel like you can’t move.

What’s your general strategy?

It depends a bit on how I’m feeling, but generally I walk in, get changed, have a bit of a dance, walk around and scope out the place, then go upstairs and see what happens.

Generally, it doesn’t take more than eye contact. You lock eyes with a guy and you know — okay, here we go.

If it’s busy, sometimes a guy will just wrap his hand around my cock to get my attention.

What happens if someone is making eye contact with you or trying to get your attention and you’re not up for it?

You can just ignore their attempts at eye contact. If someone touches me and I’m not interested, my facial expressions are very expressive and can send a clear message. If someone doesn’t get the message then I’m just very direct and tell them that I’m not interested. That rarely ever happens though, as long as you’re clear with your signals you won’t have a problem.

Dick Baker
Dick Backer in front of Clozone store in Soho, London | Photo supplied

You shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do, or behave in a certain way. The venue is just providing the environment and the opportunity, it’s up to you to find your own pace.

You can just have a bit of fun with a couple of guys, or you can get comfortable in a sling in the dark room and make it clear that you’re not bothered by who is taking a turn on you.

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How many times would you have sex at a party like Hard On?

I usually have some fun upstairs, cum, go downstairs to get some water and have a cigarette, have a dance, then head back upstairs for some more fun.

Generally I’ll cum at least twice, possibly three or four times.

I take Viagra when I got to a party like Hard On. It means I’m always ready for action and can last for longer. I also wear a cock-ring — I wear a necklace with some of my favourite cock-rings.

What sort of guys go to a party like Hard On?

All sorts of guys. I’m 31, but there’s a varied mix of guys of all ages. I’ve noticed recently that the crowd seems to be getting younger — maybe PrEP has something to do with that.

There’s lots of condoms available at Hard On, but generally guys don’t use them. It’s a personal choice — they’re readily available if you want them.

What hints or tips would you give to someone who was thinking about going to their first sex club party?

Try and go with a friend, at least for the first few times. Know what you want — set yourself some boundaries.

Fetish gear can be really expensive, but you can just go with something simple. A jockstrap and a pair of sports socks is a classic look — you’re covered but not covered.

If you want a harness of some kind, you don’t have to splash out on a leather harness, there are fabric harness options available that are more affordable.

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Dick Baker
Dick Backer inside the Clozone store in Soho, London | Photo supplied

You don’t have to look like the guy on the poster. There’s lots of ordinary, everyday guys at these parties. Everyone is just out for a good time.

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