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How to navigate a gay sex club

Dick Baker shares his play-book.

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Ever wondered how a gay sex club or a sex party works? I caught up for a coffee with my Twitter buddy Dick Baker to swap tips on how to navigate a club full of horned-up guys.

What led you to try out a sex club for the first time?

Hard On in London was the first sex club party that I went to. I’d never been to anything like that before, but I’d heard a lot about it on social media. I wanted to experience it, to try it out, experiment. I wanted to see if it was any good.

How does a club like Hard On work?

You walk in, and then you get changed.

The dress code for Hard On isn’t as strict as some other places. Hard On caters to a wide range of fetishes — rubber, leather, sports wear, or full-on naked

They have a basic locker-room changing area, so you don’t have to ride the tube in your gear.

But you are getting changed in front of everyone — this isn’t the place to come to if you’re modest or shy.

What did you wear on your first visit to Hard On?

A jock-strap, sports socks, and a harness.

These days I always start off wearing a jock-strap, but I end up taking that off pretty quickly and just stuff it in one of my socks so I don’t lose it. I get more attention when I’m naked.

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Who do you go with?

I generally go by myself.

There’s hundreds of guys there, but it can sometimes feel a bit lonely by yourself. I generally know a few people there, people to chat with when you’re grabbing a drink or having a smoke.

Dick Backer in front of Clozone in London
Dick Backer in front of Clozone store in Soho, London | Photo supplied

It would be nice to go with a group of guys, that way you can go off and have some fun and then come back together to drink and chat and dance.

What’s the layout of a club like Hard On?

Downstairs there’s the main dance floor, the main bar, and two play areas. Upstairs is the main dark room, sofas, and a corridor with slings, benches, and private cabins.

It gets so busy that sometimes you feel like you can’t move.

What’s your general strategy?

It depends a bit on how I’m feeling, but generally I walk in, get changed, have a bit of a dance, walk around and scope out the place, then go upstairs and see what happens.

Generally, it doesn’t take more than eye contact. You lock eyes with a guy and you know — okay, here we go.

If it’s busy, sometimes a guy will just wrap his hand around my cock to get my attention.

What happens if someone is making eye contact with you or trying to get your attention and you’re not up for it?

You can just ignore their attempts at eye contact. If someone touches me and I’m not interested, my facial expressions are very expressive and can send a clear message. If someone doesn’t get the message then I’m just very direct and tell them that I’m not interested. That rarely ever happens though, as long as you’re clear with your signals you won’t have a problem.

Dick Baker
Dick Backer in front of Clozone store in Soho, London | Photo supplied

You shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do, or behave in a certain way. The venue is just providing the environment and the opportunity, it’s up to you to find your own pace.

You can just have a bit of fun with a couple of guys, or you can get comfortable in a sling in the dark room and make it clear that you’re not bothered by who is taking a turn on you.

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How many times would you have sex at a party like Hard On?

I usually have some fun upstairs, cum, go downstairs to get some water and have a cigarette, have a dance, then head back upstairs for some more fun.

Generally I’ll cum at least twice, possibly three or four times.

I take Viagra when I got to a party like Hard On. It means I’m always ready for action and can last for longer. I also wear a cock-ring — I wear a necklace with some of my favourite cock-rings.

What sort of guys go to a party like Hard On?

All sorts of guys. I’m 31, but there’s a varied mix of guys of all ages. I’ve noticed recently that the crowd seems to be getting younger — maybe PrEP has something to do with that.

There’s lots of condoms available at Hard On, but generally guys don’t use them. It’s a personal choice — they’re readily available if you want them.

What hints or tips would you give to someone who was thinking about going to their first sex club party?

Try and go with a friend, at least for the first few times. Know what you want — set yourself some boundaries.

Fetish gear can be really expensive, but you can just go with something simple. A jockstrap and a pair of sports socks is a classic look — you’re covered but not covered.

If you want a harness of some kind, you don’t have to splash out on a leather harness, there are fabric harness options available that are more affordable.

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Dick Baker
Dick Backer inside the Clozone store in Soho, London | Photo supplied

You don’t have to look like the guy on the poster. There’s lots of ordinary, everyday guys at these parties. Everyone is just out for a good time.

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The Cum Dump Phenomenon

Master Jerry helps us understand it.

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Image sourced from photo library

The continuing evolution of the sexuality of gay men is endlessly fascinating. There’s obviously enormous diversity in the attitude and outlook of gay men in terms of sex.

The reality of being a cum-dump probably has a proud history that stretches throughout time, but embracing it as a sexual identity feels like a relatively new phenomenon.

On social networks like Twitter, and also on dating apps, a large number of users are now identifying themselves as cum-dumps.

Studios like Treasure Island Media and SX Video were among the first to embrace the fetishisation of cum. But, in recent years, many more porn studios seem to have embraced the trend.

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The concept features heavily in our porn feeds.

A quick search on the video sharing website Pornhub presents you with more that 300 results. The most popular video has more than 1 million views.

It left us wondering, how did it all start?

To help us understand the phenomenon, we interviewed Master Jerry, a Twitter resident expert on cum dumps.

What is a Cum Dump?

Although self-explanatory, we thought it would be a good idea to start with a definition of the term.

Cum-dump is used to describe a man that wants to have as many men as possible cumming in his mouth or asshole. Because the fetishisation of cum is the sexual force behind it, men usually don’t use condoms.

via SEX.com

Master Jerry simplifies the term by describing a cum dump as “a guy who’s willing to take all loads – no questions asked”.

The Evolution of Cum Dump

This is a concept that probably emerged from the nihilistic bug-chaser sub-culture, where the rush from no-condom sex was fuelled by the fear of catching a life-threatening infection. Thanks to medical advances like TasP and PrEP, and the reduction in HIV transmission rates, many gay men now feel empowered to embrace the cum-dump experience and identity.

With the fear and danger out of the equation, the appeal of being a cum-dump now comes from a symbiosis between power and control.

“I love sloppy 20ths. I also love being in control”, reveals Master Jerry.

Although there is an element of control, Master Jerry’s dynamic usually doesn’t involve any BDSM kind of fetish kink, “It’s about both cum dumps and the tops having fun”.

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From underground to mainstream

When you’re looking at a gang-fuck scenario, the guy in the centre of the action is the cum dump – taking multiple loads of cum in the ass.

“Cum is the best lube – bar none”

Proud of his cum dumps, Master Jerry created is own hashtag on Twitter – #MasterJerryCumDump.

Master Jerry CumDump
People proudly share their ‘cum dump’ photos| Photo: Master Jerry (supplied)

People from all over the world, including some famous names in the gay adult industry, use it to tag their best ‘cum dump’ pictures.

“My cum dump stable star is MuscleDaddyBottom on BBRT. Also Xybbbottomguy on BBRT is one of my popular stable cum-dumps”.

When asked what was his ultimate cum dump fantasy, Master Jerry replies:

“I’ve pretty much lived my ultimate cum dump fantasies. But I guess that something I’d like to explore is setting up eight cum dumps side-by-side, taking all loads. I’d also like to take a couple of hot cum dumps out into the streets and whore them out to random guys in downtown alleyways.”


Find out more about Master Jerry and join his stable:

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