I caught up with Dillon Diaz to talk about getting started in the gay porn industry.
What led you to start exploring a career in gay porn?
I started working as a go-go, stripper, and erotic dancer in the spring of 2018, as a new adventure for myself. I like to push myself out of my comfort zone as much as possible and grow from the experiences. I met lots of people this year that helped open my mind and supported me through the process. Everyone from club owners, to promoters, other dancers doing what I do, and also some porn stars.
It was after meeting guys like Andrew Fitch, Skyy Knox, Johnny Knox, Dolf Dietrich, Kris Karr, and Hans Berlin that I started to consider it as an option for myself. My perception of what it was like to work in adult entertainment and be a porn star totally changed when I met these guys. I saw that they had normal healthy lives, normal healthy relationships, and a great income.
I got to do live performances with a couple of these guys at club bookings, and I loved it. I realised that I could be a porn star too. So, with the help of my new sexy mentors, I started to send my photos to some of the gay porn production companies out there. I’ve received a great response, and I believe I’m close to setting a date for my first scenes.
Would you describe yourself as an exhibitionist?
I’d describe myself as an introvert with exhibitionist tendencies. Before I started working in this industry, I avoided nightlife all together. I wasn’t into the bar or club scene with its crowds and loud music. I need lots of space and me-time.
But what I found is that even though I’m in the middle of the crowd, I’m still apart from it. I’m usually on a stage or a box, and it gives me a little height and distance where I can be by myself and be on display. The loud music became therapeutic. I got lost in the music and found a new me, or a side of me that I didn’t know was there and I like it.
It’s really not bad having all eyes on you. It’s kind of hot to be the centre of attention. I found my inner-performer on stage in the gay bars of NYC. Progression has always been important to me, and going into gay porn feels like a natural progression from dancing. It’s onward and upward for me — no turning back.
Who are some of your gay porn heroes or inspirations?
I’m about to show my age. I remember rubbing it out to Tyger Tyson and the other guys of Latino Fan Club. Back then, those guys looked like the guys that were giving me a hard time in school. It was hot to see them all fucking each other.
Today, my heroes are the guys I’ve met and who are helping me to get to where they are — or at least in the same neighbourhood. Andrew, Skyy, Dolf, and Hans — they’re my friends, mentors, and gay porn heroes.
What’s your ultimate gay porn fantasy?
There are so many! I’m looking forward to being directed and producing some hot scenes for everyone to enjoy, but I’d like a good interracial group where I get to flip fuck.
Can we talk underwear?
When I’m not performing, I wear just a basic and comfortable brief of any kind — from a boxer brief to a bikini brief, I like my goods kept close. When I’m performing, I like to change it up and be creative. I’ll look for options with sheer panels, cut outs, interesting textures and colours. Then, of course, I accessorise the whole look to completion.
At the gym, it’s either no underwear or I’ll wear a jockstrap.
When it comes to other guys, I like them to wear anything that’s flattering to their body. But, if I could choose it for them, I’d pick a nice jockstrap.
What are some of your goals and ambitions for the remainder of 2018?
I’d love to film my first scenes before the year is out. I want to get my dick wet in this industry and make more contacts to carry me into 2019, growing as a performer.
We want to hear your opinion
A cautionary tale about Chemsex
The Chemsex Trilogy of books documents a fairly turbulent period of your life. When did you decide to chronicle your experiences?
The initial idea came to me one night while I was high. We were sitting around a friend’s kitchen table, discussing my financial situation, and he suggested selling a few drugs for the next few weeks to supplement my short term income discrepancy, and I jokingly quipped — ‘Yeah, sure! I could write a Secret Diary of a Drug Dealer book about the whole experience!’ — not dreaming at that stage for one minute that I would either deal drugs or write the book.
Later, once in prison, and with plenty of time on my hands to reflect, I decided that it might be a good idea to write about my entire experience in the hope that it might help others in similar circumstances. I originally intended on writing the one book, but now I’m on my fourth volume in this series.
In recent years there’s been a number of books, plays, and documentaries exploring the appeal and the impact of the Chemsex scene. What does your trilogy of books add to that narrative?
There have been a few attempts at explaining Chemsex through various art forms, but I don’t think any of them have offered a balanced perspective, looking at it from all angles.
When I first started writing the books, I wanted them to be entertaining as well as factual. I certainly didn’t want to write a ‘poor, poor me’ missive, but instead a humorous yet factual and informative series which highlighted the process of addiction from introduction right through to recovery. I also want the books to serve as a reference to friends, family and loved ones of victims, who, having never been exposed to this culture, might also be searching for answers and understanding.
How hard was it for you, sitting down to write the books, looking back at that period of your life with sober eyes?
Surprisingly, not difficult at all. This is a period in my life of which I’m not proud, but the biggest battle was in wrestling with how much of the story should be told, and in how much detail, and how much should I omit in order to protect my ‘reputation’ and keep my friends.
Once I’d started writing, I actually found the entire process cathartic. It forced me to examine actions and reactions, why I’d made some of the decisions which led me down this path, and what I could have done to stop it. It shocked me — looking back, how emotionally and physically drained, and how vulnerable I’d been at the point where I was introduced to Chemsex. Many of the others around me at that time were in the same boat. At the time, I had no idea my state of mind was so fragile.
Later, after my release, I realised ironically that had I not written the books, no-one would have known about my prison term and deportation in the ‘real world’ as I’d been fortunate in having no press coverage during my trial at all.
It’s taken me nine months to gather the confidence to be able to discuss the full extent of my punishment. People who have read the trilogy have presumed that I was writing about others and not myself, initially it was convenient for me to hide behind this.
I finally came to the conclusion that if my friends were going to reject me because I’d been caught and punished for the drugs — when at the height of my indulgence they were all participating — then I didn’t need them as friends. These battles have been more difficult than the actual writing of the books.
How would you describe the different periods covered by each of the books in the trilogy?
Chasing the Dragon is all about pressure, experimentation, and indulgence. It tells the story of how various factors led me to experiment, and then to become more deeply involved. The biggest problem with this drug is that it makes you feel so good, sex become a euphoric experience, and for a few hours you lose all inhibition, all pain, you feel attractive, desirable, and wanted again. When those factors are missing in your life, the temptation to do it more and more becomes extremely difficult to resist.
Candy Flipping covers indulgence, addiction, and arrest. It demonstrates the failings of the legal system in general, the ambivalence and laziness of the Metropolitan Police, and the incredible impact austerity measures have had on the Crown Prosecution Service and the legal profession. I also discuss addiction — the psychological addiction to Chemsex. The assumption that Crystal Methamphetamine is physically addictive is an absolute myth, propagated by the government, and adopted by users as an excuse for bad behaviour.
Double Bubble covers arrest, sentencing, and incarceration, and is an exposé of the short-comings of the British penal system, and also explains why I’m convinced that the drugs themselves are not addictive.
My new book The Deported deals with incarceration, deportation, and new beginnings, discussing re-entry to society, coming to terms with life in a country in which one hasn’t lived for decades, self examination, lessons learnt, and the best way to rebuild one’s life. This is the one of which I’m most proud. It will be available for purchase on 1 August 2018.
There will be a lot of gay men reading your books who will be familiar with some elements of the Chemsex and PnP scene. Would you describe your books as a cautionary tale?
I would hope so — if they stop people from going through what I did then I’ll be happy. I’d also like to think that they’re a reference point for partners, friends, and family of victims in gaining an understanding of the culture so that that they can better offer support and assistance in breaking the cycle.
My most ardent wish is that the books will raise awareness of the factors involved, so that the government will become better informed in formulating policies, instead of just sticking band-aids without any understanding of a problem which has deep and wide-ranging ramifications.
Not everyone who explores Chemsex and PnP follows the trajectory that you’ve followed. Were there any specific factors that shaped your story, or is Chemsex a slippery slope that could lead anyone down a similar path?
When I really started to examine my ‘path to destruction’ I realised that the only reason I became involved at all was because of issues with confidence, low self-esteem, work stress, depression, and anxiety. Like any drug — whether it be alcohol or something stronger — when you have a healthy, sane, balanced state of mind, you can handle any stimulant in moderation and walk away from it. I was using drugs, and Chemsex as a support mechanism to stop myself from sinking into depression — self-medicating, if you like — and it was then that I started to become more and more embroiled in the whole process. Like many people I met during this process, I was convinced I didn’t have a problem, right up until the end when I found myself in ‘forced detox.’
What do you hope that people feel when reading The Chemsex Trilogy?
I hope that they will identify with the issues discussed, and feel empathy for the people and stories within the narrative. I hope that I will have frightened them enough to discourage them from becoming involved in this epidemic. If they’re victims of it already, I hope they feel inspiration, and gain support in knowing that they’re not alone in this battle, as well as encouraged to use the support channels to find out where to get help. Most of all, I hope that people see the humour, and enjoy reading the books.
We are serialising Double Bubble on Mainly Male.
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