I caught up with Richard Crowe and asked him a few personal questions.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
As an early developer, one of the first to have pubic hair in my cohort, I was very young when I started to masturbate — no more than nine years old.
My father was a keen collector of straight pornographic magazines — Mayfair, Penthouse, Fiesta and the like — which he hid in various places around the house to keep them from my mother. Keeping them from us, my older brother and I, was a different matter, however. I think we found every hiding place and plundered his collection mercilessly.
At this time my brother, 12, and me, nine, shared a bedroom — two single beds against opposite walls. I remember my brother reading out loud from the Forum section of Mayfair — a place where ‘ordinary housewives’ or whoever would confess their sexual peccadilloes and adventures. Pretty graphic stuff with as much mention of dripping cocks as slippery tits — it was always the cocks I wanted to hear about, even then.
As I listened, without knowing what I was doing or why, my hand strayed down to my small but very hard cock — all perfectly natural, I suppose — and I began to rub myself. I believe my brother was unaware of what I was doing throughout — not that I would have cared — and, of course, he too, unbeknown to me may well have been masturbating.
What I distinctly remember was a growing sense of excitement and pleasure as I continued to rub my cock. The words my brother spoke, at once, both hugely stimulating and seemingly irrelevant, disappearing into the ether as the tingling in my cock grew in intensity. Until I reached a point where I had to stop or die or pee or laugh out loud or scream. In other words, I had an orgasm. No ejaculate, no sperm or semen, obviously, but an orgasm nonetheless.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
I think my first thoughts were that I’d discovered something wonderful and unique to me. It never occurred to me at the time that my brother might have done the same thing, or that boys everywhere might do this. But I knew that I would do it again and often because it felt so good — I went on to do it six or seven times a day regularly.
I had no feelings of guilt, dirtiness or the like at that time, though I understood it was something private to do behind locked doors or under the sheets. Also, despite the ‘experience’ gained from my father’s magazines, I had no idea what to call this beautiful thing. Wank, wanking, tossing off, and masturbation were words that would be missing from my vocabulary for a few years yet. So I called it ‘sensation’ because that’s what it was.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
No. I wouldn’t have known who to talk to about it or how. I also felt quite protective about the experience. It was mine and I wanted it to stay that way.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
I stuck pretty much to the conventional peeling back and pulling forward of my foreskin, but I do remember variations in my early years — including soap in the bath, a pillow between my legs in bed, and simulating sex with a cored apple.
Can you remember the first time you talked to someone else about jacking off?
When I was nine — a big year for me — I started to attend a traditional English all boys public school. Among other things, this meant spending all my formative years, puberty and teens, exclusively with other boys, all aged between 9–18.
Changing rooms and showers were communal, organised by House rather than year group, and no one was allowed underwear beneath their sports kit. Everyone had to shower, no excuses, and no modesty panels. We were also required to swim naked in the indoor pool — we were allowed trunks in the outdoor pool, but only since a local convent girl had been found peeping through a pair of binoculars.
So cocks — naked, a bit hairy and really hairy and floppy and erect — were an everyday fixture. At times, it seemed, they were pretty much everywhere. So was an awareness of wanking off. From the age of 12, I guess, it wasn’t so much talking about wanking to other guys that I remember, but rather wanking other guys off.
This included my first proper ejaculation, at age 12, when three boys were working on my cock in a classroom during a morning break. These sessions were regular and were, more than once, interrupted by masters walking into the room and expressing surprise at our being there. Whether or not they knew what we were up to is, with hindsight, another matter.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
During puberty, my glans outgrew my foreskin, which rolled back to reveal my mushroom head. As a result, I began to experiment with my masturbatory technique, wanking more, I imagined, like boys who were circumcised.
Neglecting my foreskin, I’d use baby oil and facial creams to stroke my glans and bring myself off.
However, I then discovered the joys of talcum powder and the dry wank — applying more powder to soak up any juices produced in advance of orgasm. Dry wanks produced the most powerful ejaculations that I’ve ever experienced.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
Now in middle age, my cock-head has begun to shrink a little, my foreskin to stretch, so I’m back at stage one with a fully uncircumcised appearance. So I tend to revert to the traditionalist style of masturbation, rolling back and pulling forward on the foreskin.
I think variety is essential to a youthful outlook and attitude, so I like to mix it up when I can, using wet, dry, and pillow techniques to get me off.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Never be afraid of masturbation. We still don’t talk about masturbation enough and still the agenda can seem dominated by the Christian-right and those who would tell you that it’s sinful, unnatural, and harmful.
It’s not. It’s wholly natural — other primates and apes and mammals do it too. It releases tension and stress. It helps you to sleep. It releases good hormones and, particularly as you get older, it reduces the risk of prostate cancer. Masturbation can save your life.
We need to talk about masturbation more. Be more open about it. My father may have left porn mags around the house for me and my brother to find. But he never talked openly about the subject, and my mother would have died if it was mentioned at the dinner table.
Wank and enjoy wanking. Wank knowing that you’re in the majority. Most males wank — old and young, in partnerships and single. Once you start you never stop. You think you’ll stop when you get a partner. But you don’t. When your partner goes out you go and have a wank. That’s fine. It’s natural. Wanking and sex are very different things and serve very different purposes. Wanking is just for you, wholly indulgent, you can be with who you want and you can cum without any pressure to perform or satisfy.
Relax! Masturbation is cool.
We want to hear your opinion
Welcome to planet Akeron
Sandy Pianim from Recon sits down with body modfication specialists Alex and Yan to talk tattoos and fetish.
Tattoos & Piercings are a fetish interest we rarely get to shine a light on at Recon. So, when we met this French couple during Fetish Week London 2017 we knew that we’d eventually sit down with them to discuss what it is about body modification that makes them tick. Welcome to planet Akeron!
Alex and Yan are so distinctly different from everything around them in Nice – the sunny city on the French Riviera where they are based and run their tattoo and piercing business, Akeron Body Mod – that their impact is all the more powerful. As rare fetish visitors, we’re greeted with warmth and excitement, though this greeting would extend to all. “We wanted to create a safe space for anyone… for fetish people or not. To offer them the opportunity to do body mods, tattoos, [and] piercings in a non-judgemental place – which is very important and to help people with their journey.” Alex tells us.
It’s evident that the pair have been on quite a journey of self-discovery together and regard themselves as aliens, which is fitting given their appearance.
“When I met Yan he only had one tattoo and two piercings” Alex says “So I helped him modify his appearance. I’ve been into body piercing and modification since I was 14 and I got my first heavy body mod when I was 18”
Yan recounts his first piercings “I did my first piercings myself, my labret and naval, I was like 16. [Though] I also had my ears pierced when I was 12.”
We asked them what they like about modifying themselves and Yan explains, “For us it’s not a real fetish, It’s a way of life. We don’t think about it, we live for tattoos and piercings. It’s a passion for us. It’s a way of freedom”
The themes of freedom and self-expression are evident in their desire to have more done. “As you get older you discover yourself and try a lot of things. It wasn’t fashion.” Trying to find the words to describe how they enjoy pushing their limits in English, Yan jokes “We like to stretch holes! Sometimes on Sunday we don’t have anything to do then it’s like ‘Oh why don’t we do some scarification today? OK!’ Or a new piercing or a new tattoo.”
They must have a lot of free Sundays, as they’re covered head to toe with a variety of modifications. This approach also gets us wondering if they had any limits. Alex says, “Everything I said no to when I was younger, I ended up doing anyway, so never say never. We don’t like limits.”
How this lack of limits translates into their sex life seems a salient point, so we ask what their other fetish interests are. Alex discovered his love for rubber and bondage from some guys he met on Recon in Nice about five years ago. He also mentions that he loves deep throating. “I would say it’s my main talent in life!” Yan interjects jokingly, referring to the movie Alien, “And I’m a face hugger!”
If you’re wondering how they manage to have sex with all their piercings, Yan fills us in, “It’s horrible to fuck with all our piercings. You cannot suck. There is always something that goes wrong…” Alex interrupts with his disagreement of this, but Yan continues “He’s lost a lot of piercings. Always losing piercings!” Alex concedes this point. “I used to have some high Monroe piercings with tiny balls when I did them. Maybe one or two days after I got them, Yan was fucking my mouth, the balls came in and it went so bad! He can’t help himself. He likes to make me suffer. He’s a bit of a sadist.”
Not only have they evolved together with regards to their body modification, but Alex continues with telling us how Yan helped him evolve sexually. “When I met Yan, I was mostly top and then he forced me into being a greedy bottom. I discovered anal pleasure with him. I’m very thankful for it because now I enjoy it from both top and bottom. I would never have imagined being here four years ago. It’s constant evolution.”
Alex has a list set out in his mind about what he wants his next evolutions to be. “I want my labret cut again, I would love my conch removed, I would like my eyes touched up, my tongue split a bit more, my nipples removed, my naval removed, and my dick implants with some silicone work. Not silicone injections, silicone implants… bits and ribs. I would like a lot of silicone work on my arms as well and facial scarification, more facial tattoos done… a lot of stuff.”
One might think that even after all they’ve done that the pain associated with these procedures is second nature. They both exclaim, “Of course we feel the pain!” Alex continues, “I don’t enjoy pain at all, I’m just willing to get through it for the results.”
The couple have to deal with people’s perception of them and whilst we hang out we notice people’s reaction to them more and more. Yan reasons, “The fact is that we haven’t invented anything, it’s just modification that has been around for thousands of years.” When they feel like people think they’re odd or scary Alex’s response is, “…I say thank you. It’s definitely not my point to be scary, but if that’s the perception from others then ok, I don’t care.”
One of the most noticeable reasons why people stop and stare could be due to their most dramatic modification: their eyes. “In a lot of sci-fi movies what makes the difference between humans and every animal or extra-terrestrial thing is the eye colour. It definitely changes you. It takes the humanity away, and that’s what I really like about it” says Alex. Yann adds, “The day after, it felt like we were reborn.”
Alex’s shares his view with us. “We don’t live for other people. I can understand their reaction, as they’re not used to seeing people like us, but we’re here to open minds.” Yann adds, “And that we are free, it’s a free country, it’s important for us. Some humans are not free today. People cannot be themselves. We are lucky to be here and to be free, together as gays. We can do what we want so we have to enjoy it.”
We love Akeron’s spirit and energy and encourage people to go to Nice to visit them and their shop or reach out to them on Recon or social media with any tattoo, piercing or body modification questions and queries.
Photos by Joaquin Bielsa for Recon
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