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Nate Grimes navigates porn and addiction

“Each time I would break another rule I had set for myself — I would party a little longer, call out of work, spend a little more money, I would use until my body shut itself down.”

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I caught up with Nate Grimes to talk about life in LA and the challenges of being a sober porn star.

What was it that led you to start exploring porn and escorting as a career?

I started becoming more interested in doing porn and sex work when I was living in Maine. At the time, I was a little sexually frustrated, to say the least. Viewing porn was an outlet for me, and I started posting some videos on Xtube, which received a good reaction from viewers there.

I was able to form a relationship with a producer from LA through my internet exhibitionism, and it wasn’t long until I flew out to California to visit and film my first scene.

Sex work came into the picture at around the same time. I wasn’t advertising when I lived in Maine, but I was approached by men on the hookup apps who were willing to pay. I was working in restaurants at the time.

Nate Grimes | Photo: Adrian Gilliland

When I moved to Los Angeles in the Fall of 2016, I decided that I didn’t want to get another service job, and was able to set myself up as a full-time sex worker through the help of friends who were already established.

How did you discover that you had a talent for fisting?

As a teenager, before I started watching porn, I’d find gay erotic art on the internet to jerk off to. A lot of the art that I found the most arousing was by Tom of Finland, and an artist named Dom Orejudos, who drew under the name Etienne. The drawings and comics depicted a lot of hardcore BDSM sex acts — such as bondage, gang-bangs, dom/sub relationships, and of course, fisting. That was my first exposure to the act. At the time, I didn’t really know what it was, or if it was even real, but the drawings always made me cum.

I eventually discovered fisting in porn, and I was always curious about what that would feel like. I was 22 by the time I finally got to the point where I could take it and enjoy it.

Fisting is something that’s very intense, but also very intimate. It requires a vast amount of trust between partners, also patience, communication — it’s a connection between the physical and mental state that engenders incredible amounts of pleasure.

Would you describe yourself as an exhibitionist?

In the sense that I enjoy showing off online, yes, to a certain extent. However, I don’t like public sex at all. It stresses me out. A lot of guys who are true exhibitionists describe the humiliating feeling of potentially getting caught as a rush that gets them aroused — for me, that feeling shuts me down completely and inhibits me from feelings any sort of pleasure. I can have sex in a bathhouse or at a sex party while other people are watching, or out on a trail in the middle of nowhere, but ducking into public toilets or city parks doesn’t thrill me.

Nate Grimes | Photo: Kyle Kupres

What brought you to Los Angeles?

I moved to Los Angeles to get away from winter. After four years in Maine, the seasons broke me. I grew up in central Florida, and while I’m not a complete whimp when it comes to cold weather, something about the winters in New England were especially bleak.

My early twenties in Maine were spent living paycheck to paycheck, not having any time to travel or really enjoy life all that much. One winter, I think 2014, my hair started falling out because I was so depressed and stressed out.

LA gave me the promise of endless summer. I also have an affinity for dramatic landscapes, and California provides that in spades. The scorched moonscape of the desert in southern California possesses a certain kind of magic for me.

Other than that, I wanted to be in a larger city, with more opportunity and more queer people. Maine is a corner of America where I think a lot of people go to get away from the rest of the country, and I felt stuck for a lot of the time I lived there.

You’ve been sober for over nine months now, how challenging has that been for you?

Sobriety is wild. I never really expected it to become my life, but it has. My drug career started in Chicago when I was 19 — I started shooting heroin on a whim, under the impression that this is just something people do at some point in their lives. It wasn’t long until things really fell apart for me.

I went to rehab at 21, and then moved to Maine to be in a sober living program. My first stint in sobriety only lasted six months — after I left, I didn’t have much issue with drinking or drugs for a few years. Then I met crystal meth, and we were off and running again.

Nate Grimes | Photo: Kyle Kupres

Meth put me in contact with people who were willing to have the piggy, uninhibited sex that I craved. My use was sporadic, going on benders for a few days every couple of months. Each time I would break another rule I had set for myself — I would party a little longer, call out of work, spend a little more money, I would use until my body shut itself down.

Things really started to snowball during the summer of 2017, after I’d been in LA for about six months. When I wasn’t doing meth, I had cocaine delivered to my apartment. I was in and out of the hospital a few times, for nothing more than being dehydrated and undernourished — I’d used so much and eaten so little that my body rejected anything I put into it. There were a few months when I was so depressed that it became difficult to get out of bed. All the while I was convinced that the drugs weren’t the issue, that something else could explain my troubles.

In August, a week before my birthday, I went on a drug run that almost killed me. My use had finally infiltrated every aspect of my life — my friends, my work, my health. I was so cracked out on my birthday that the only thing I can remember is feeling deeply embarrassed and ashamed that my friends had seen me in such a state. August 27th is my sobriety date.

The good news is that sobriety is fairly simple — don’t drink or use drugs. However, that’s such a small portion of the work that’s done within programs of recovery. I do believe that I am an addict and that there’s something about my brain that’s different from ‘normal’ people. For me, the term ‘alcoholism’ doesn’t just mean ‘a problem with alcohol’ — rather it’s a way of thinking that engenders isolation from oneself and others, enables debilitating patterns of obsession, and leads to self-destructive behaviour.

Nate Grimes | Photo: Nate Grimes

Substance abuse is a symptom of a problematic way of thinking, rather than the root problem itself. Recovery is about learning new patterns of thinking that are contrary to the addictive behaviour — self-care, community and fellowship, honesty, and compassion. In that sense, it’s a simple concept, but it is challenging.

Luckily, Los Angeles has an incredible community of recovery. It’s weird that I moved here with no intention of getting sober, and yet here I am, nine months in. It’s not always easy, but it’s so much better than the alternative.

The world of porn and escorting doesn’t seem like a particularly easy place to be sober, how have you navigated that?

I think that there’s only been one time when I was filming with someone who was clearly on something and couldn’t perform well on set. That might have been karma for the time that I was that person, late last summer. Most of the time, I don’t run into many issues. It’s illegal to have drugs on set, and it’s not a cute look when you’re twacked out under studio lights and in front of a high-definition camera. Trust me, I know.

Nate Grimes | Photo: Kyle Kupres

Other than filming, I haven’t really participated in some of the more public aspects of working in porn — such as doing appearances at bars and circuit parties. This is more because of my personality than my sobriety — I’m a little more introverted than extroverted. I like my space, and crowds tend to exhaust me.

As for escorting, I vet my clients and don’t work with people who want to use during a session. I ask them directly about their drug use and don’t put myself in situations where I would feel tempted or triggered. I know sober sex workers who are able to work in those conditions, but right now it would be too much for me.

In terms of your escorting work, what sort of clients generally hire you?

I get hired by a lot of nice people, which is a blessing. I do my best to form a connection with my clients prior to meeting, in order to have as good a time as possible. It’s all about having fun for me, and the people who also understand that are the best. Some people know me from videos, and others have no idea that I’ve filmed at all.

Most of the people who hire me are looking for the guy-next-door ‘boyfriend’ experience, which I’m happy to provide. When a client is happy and says — “Thank you for being kind to me…” that just makes me melt. Giving someone an experience in which they feel valued and desired is wonderful, and I’m grateful I’m able to do so.

Nate Grimes | Photo: Nate Grimes

What are some of your goals and ambitions for the remainder of 2018?

I’d like to diversify my income. My time of being fresh on the scene in LA is definitely over, and that means I either have to travel constantly to make enough money, or figure something else out. I don’t like travelling all the time, and when I do travel, I like to stay somewhere for a while rather than just a few days.

I’d like to go back to school and get a degree, most likely in design or architecture. I have a weird dream about designing and building furniture, and developing sustainable types of social housing that can alleviate housing shortages in urban areas.

I don’t think I’ll stop doing sex work though. It’s going steady for now and I’m willing to ride it out for as long as I can.

Hot Guys

Five is DonovanWXxX lucky number

“I definitely would love to be able to travel at least the United States and fuck and be fucked by at least 5 guys in every state”

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We caught up with DonovanWXxX to talk about his JustFor.Fans page, underwear and fantasies.

What led you to start exploring a career in porn?

When I was in high school I wanted to do porn as a side thing to help college tuition and because I am really curious to see how I would do in the porn industry!

DonovanWXxX | Photo supplied

Who are some of your porn heroes or inspirations?

Blake Mitchell, Greyson Lane, Michael DelRey, and Kevin Warhol are just a few of the guys that I look up to and aspire to meet in person one day.

What sort of content do you generally feature on your JustFor.Fans channel?

I post original content from myself, whether that me jacking off, riding a dildo, getting fucked, or fucking someone else.

There are plenty of people that I really want to have their seed planted in me.

What’s your ultimate JustFor.Fans fantasy?

My JustFor.Fans fantasy would have to be having a meet-up one day with a bunch of the guys that want to work with me and have like a massive orgy.

I definitely would love to be able to travel at least the United States and fuck and be fucked by at least 5 guys in every state.

Would be awesome to just get out there and have fun!

DonovanWXxX | Photo supplied

Can we talk underwear?

I typically wear Calvin Klein or Hollister Boxer briefs on a daily.

When I’m at the gym I actually don’t wear any underwear. I got to let it get the fresh scent of meat in the air.

I definitely like to wear briefs and jockstraps as well when I’m with a guy. I honestly love a man who goes commando, but if I had to choose it would be a man in briefs or jockstrap, just because they are easier to access in my opinion.

DonovanWXxX | Photo supplied

What are some of your goals and aspirations for the months ahead?

Some goals I have is to continue growing my content page to actually get better at recording my “scenes” with guys.

Making contact with fans and if I get an active following, create content on a daily basis. Also plan to pay off some debts so I can eat!

Click ‘See gallery’ to see more of DonovanWXxX’s

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