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Photo: Lucas Entertainment (image courtesy of Boner Magazine) Photo: Lucas Entertainment (image courtesy of Boner Magazine)

Health

How to have better orgasms

Photo: Lucas Entertainment (image courtesy of Boner Magazine)

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Michael Soze, writing for Boner Magazine, has delivered some fascinating research into the male orgasm.

Apparently, the average male orgasm lasts for 12.2 seconds. If you extrapolate that across the average male life-span, that means that we’re probably going to have spent about nine hours in the ecstatic throes of orgasm. Another fun fact, we’ll each produce about fifty litres of sperm. That’s a lot of cum.

According to the Kinsey Institute, most men think about sex several times a day.

Micha Schulze has written Sex Is A Head Thing! — a guide to orgasms for gay men. According to Schulze — “The biggest orgasm killers are comparing yourself to other men, a lack of communication, and stress.”

In a survey conducted by American website Queendom, 90 percent of gay men reported that they almost always reach orgasm when masturbating or having sex.

Orgasm is different from ejaculation. Ejaculation refers to the physical release of semen from your penis and urethra. Orgasm refers to that feeling of satisfaction and pleasure. Both the orgasm and ejaculation can be caused by the same physical stimulation, but they are technically separate from each other. Massaging your prostate can intensify the pleasure of your orgasm.

Experts describe the male orgasm as consisting of four distinct phases — excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Depending on your age and stamina, the length of these phases can vary between men.

Some doctors suggest that your orgasms can be intensified or strengthened if you exercise the pubococcygeus muscle — commonly referred to as the PC muscle. This is a hammock-like muscle that stretches from the pubic bone to the coccyx, forming the floor of the pelvic cavity and supporting the pelvic organs.

A basic exercise for your PC muscle — sometimes referred to as a kegel exercise — is to contract and hold your PC muscle for 5-20 seconds, then release them. Repeat this 10 to 20 times in a row, three to four times a day. Gradually build the number of contractions you complete and the amount of time you hold each contraction for.

Another exercise you can try is when you are urinating, use your pelvic muscles to control the urine stream — stopping and starting the flow.

You can also train yourself to have better orgasms by varying the way that you masturbate or have sex. When you’re jacking off or having sex, remember to change positions, take short breaks, and explore all of your erogenous zones. Edging, or deliberately delaying your orgasm can intensify the pleasure that your body will experience.

Trying new things when you’re masturbating or having sex can also enhance your pleasure. Try using gloves when you’re masturbating, have sex in front of a mirror or a camera, use different sensations to stimulate the body — cold ice, hot candle wax, the sting of a riding crop.

When it comes to sex, when it comes to pleasure, when it comes to having the best orgasm possible, every day is a school day.

Originally published by Boner Magazine

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Health

Sunday Surgery

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Photo by Jesper Aggergaard on Unsplash
Photo by Jesper Aggergaard on Unsplash

Are we living in a post-HIV world?
In recent years we’ve seen a seismic shift in the effectiveness of treatment for HIV, as well as the emergence of PrEP — medication that prevents you from acquiring HIV.

This combination of factors has contributed towards a dramatic change in the attitude of gay men towards HIV, health, and sex.

It’s been difficult for public health policy to keep up, but it’s also difficult for older gay men like me to get our heads around the changing landscape of sex.

Official reports indicate that AIDS has killed over 35 million people worldwide. It’s estimated that around the world there are currently over 37 million people living with HIV.

In June of 1981, when the beginnings of the HIV pandemic were first being identified, I was approaching my ninth birthday. Lucky I guess, too young to be impacted by the first devastating waves of the virus that killed so many young gay men.

As I was beginning to discover sex, the public health messages very strongly articulated that sex without a condom equalled death.

It’s a bit hard to describe how that constant fear of infection and death shapes your view and experience of sex. I guess I’ve got no way of knowing what things would have been like without that — I like to think that it might have been something like San Francisco in the 70s, or a long, lust-filled summer on Fire Island.

I survived. I was careful. I was lucky.

It wasn’t until I saw the 2003 documentary The Gift that I became aware of the fetishisation of HIV, and a growing movement of men who embraced the risk and health consequences of fucking without condoms, of letting guys cum in you, the thrill of raw, or ‘bareback’ sex between men. It was an uninhibited hedonism best captured by the porn of Paul Morris and Treasure Island Media.

It’s easy to judge and disapprove of risk-taking behaviour, but there was something incredibly compelling about this type of no-holds-barred sex — no fear, no care for consequences.

The improvements in medication and the emergence of PrEP have now made bareback sex the norm. Not only in porn — where it’s now highly unusual to see anyone using a condom — but also in everyday life.

Health professionals sensibly remind us that condoms are still worth wearing as they protect us from a whole range of sexually transmitted infections, not just HIV, but the reality is that for many men sex is better when you don’t have to wear a condom.

For me, it’s a bit of a mind-trip that testing positive for HIV is no longer a death-sentence, that you can have sex without a condom and not worry if one of you might have the virus. That you can have no-holds-barred sex, with no fear, and no care for consequences.

It’s fantastic that today’s young gay guys, who are just beginning to discover and explore sex, don’t have to worry about HIV. Obviously they need to learn about it, they need to have access to PrEP, and they need to understand the full gamut of sexual health, but it’s just part of life.

Let’s not forget our history, let’s not forget the people we’ve lost, but let’s be thankful that young guys today are growing up in a world that’s something a bit like San Francisco in the 70s, or a long, lust-filled summer on Fire Island.

We may now be living in a post-HIV world.

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