I caught up with Twitter buddy David Cookson and asked him a few personal questions.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
My first wank was at the age of 14. I was at home, in my bedroom, using a straight porn mag.
A friend of my brother stopped over once, and he got a porn mag out from under our elder brother’s bed and wanked in front of us. When he came, he did it in his hand and showed us what cum looked like. I really fancied him as well, so I wanted to try — I waited until I got time alone.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
I was nervous in case anyone walked in, but I did it anyway. I remember when I spurted it seemed to hurt a little, and I remember the smell.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
I didn’t tell anyone, but I did start baby-sitting for a man in the flat below us. When his kids were fast asleep in bed, I’d get his porn mags out and have a wank. He was ex-army and a truck driver, and was always talking about sex.
One day I asked him what wanking was , but only because I wanted to see his cock. He said that in the army they had wank competitions to see who could cum first. He told me that if I had a wank, to make sure I didn’t shoot over the carpet.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
I just wanked to porn, or with horny thoughts of my brother’s friend.
A few years later I tried to trick him into having sex with a woman with me, but only because I wanted him.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
Not much, but the key thing is playing with my nipples while I’m wanking. I also like wanking in front of others.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
Sometimes I can wank and edge myself several times a day and not cum at all, and then suddenly something triggers it a few days later or later the same day and then I just go for it. I tend to shoot a lot when it’s like that. When I was younger I would wank and cum several times a day, and also at work.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Just go for it, but clearly be careful if it’s at home — choose your timing well. Don’t do it too often — I find it best if I edge for a while and save my cum for another day, as it gets me hornier each time.
We want to hear your opinion
“My first thought was — I’m dead.”
In 1985, Derek Canas underwent heart surgery to correct a congenital anomaly — he was three months old.
The surgery was a success, but 16 years later Derek was diagnosed with AIDS — he had acquired HIV as a result of a blood transfusion during the heart surgery.
Derek is now a DJ and a campaigner for HIV awareness. Derek shared his story with Mainly Male.
When you were first diagnosed, how much did you and your family know about HIV?
The only thing I knew at that time was a few memories of a Nick News episode years before. I was diagnosed in 2001. My first thought was — “I’m dead.”
Thankfully, I had a great doctor who told me that I would that I would be going to his funeral, that he wasn’t going to mine. I had an AIDS diagnosis and wasting syndrome — I was weeks away from death.
What sort of counselling and support was available to you when you first diagnosed?
Just at doctors’ appointments. I live in a small town, there were no support groups close by. Family and close friends became my support system.
Have you encountered any stigma or discrimination as a result of your status?
Yes — especially in the early days after diagnosis. It’s just part of living in a small town. The understanding of the virus is still stuck in the mindset of the early-90s. Sadly, that’s nationwide — public knowledge is really lacking in terms of HIV.
You speak publicly about HIV and educate people about the virus — do you ever feel like taking some time out? Do you ever feel like you don’t want to have to explain your status to people that you meet?
I don’t take time out for myself. My cardiologist hates that — I’m on my fifth pace-maker. I always welcome the opportunity to explain my HIV status. I wear it like a badge of honour. The virus nearly killed me, and I’ve fought back — I’m the one that’s kicking its ass now.
What advice or guidance would you give to someone who has been recently diagnosed with HIV?
The days after are rough — don’t be ashamed of the breakdown. You’ll feel better as your health gets better. It just takes time and patience.
Do you have any hints or tips for people on how to respond to HIV stigma or discrimination?
I use music to get me through. I’m a DJ, so I know how powerful music is on our minds and bodies. I always encourage people to find their music or movies — something that helps them laugh or get hyped-up.
Keep a calendar — put things on it, no matter how small — always look forward. Tomorrow can and will be better.
Everyone gets knocked down in life. It’s about how you stand back up.
Sharing the stories of our community
It’s not easy to talk about HIV, but talking about your experience can help to build your confidence and understanding of what HIV means for you. Your story can also help others who are processing their own experiences with HIV.
If you’d like to share your story with the readers of Mainly Male, please email [email protected]
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