I caught up with Twitter buddy Soren and asked him a few personal questions.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
I started really late — about ten? I forget. It wasn’t deliberate. I was messing around with someone older, and he came for me. I got so turned on, I felt my head spin — it was such a high. I kept wanting to do it again.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
I wasn’t using any lube — I loved the friction. It was a whole lot of frottage wrestling with friends. I was so bad at wanking.
Can you remember the first time you talked to someone else about jacking off?
As soon as I first saw my own cum. I wanted to know what everyone else was doing — if they’d ever cum. I talked especially to my mates whose cocks I’d seen or felt.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
It’s evolved a great deal. I used to wank furiously to get that feeling I felt the first time. Now I like to let it go on for hours — days, weeks — slow. Also, it’s got way filthier, the things I rely on to get me off.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
I’m a creature of habit. I love to save it. I love to edge. I love having those short twitter clips to rely on. I love a bit of verbal. I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, with limits. I like to have a mutual show-off situation. I love doing it with friends — especially those who don’t expect a fuck at the end. I love a voyeur — that I can also see.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Do lots of it. Listen to everyone else, but don’t let that phase you too much. The best thing is accepting that you’re different. Be open to experiences — lots of the things I was freaked out about make me shoot the hardest. Most importantly, be kind to yourself.
We want to hear your opinion
“My first thought was — I’m dead.”
In 1985, Derek Canas underwent heart surgery to correct a congenital anomaly — he was three months old.
The surgery was a success, but 16 years later Derek was diagnosed with AIDS — he had acquired HIV as a result of a blood transfusion during the heart surgery.
Derek is now a DJ and a campaigner for HIV awareness. Derek shared his story with Mainly Male.
When you were first diagnosed, how much did you and your family know about HIV?
The only thing I knew at that time was a few memories of a Nick News episode years before. I was diagnosed in 2001. My first thought was — “I’m dead.”
Thankfully, I had a great doctor who told me that I would that I would be going to his funeral, that he wasn’t going to mine. I had an AIDS diagnosis and wasting syndrome — I was weeks away from death.
What sort of counselling and support was available to you when you first diagnosed?
Just at doctors’ appointments. I live in a small town, there were no support groups close by. Family and close friends became my support system.
Have you encountered any stigma or discrimination as a result of your status?
Yes — especially in the early days after diagnosis. It’s just part of living in a small town. The understanding of the virus is still stuck in the mindset of the early-90s. Sadly, that’s nationwide — public knowledge is really lacking in terms of HIV.
You speak publicly about HIV and educate people about the virus — do you ever feel like taking some time out? Do you ever feel like you don’t want to have to explain your status to people that you meet?
I don’t take time out for myself. My cardiologist hates that — I’m on my fifth pace-maker. I always welcome the opportunity to explain my HIV status. I wear it like a badge of honour. The virus nearly killed me, and I’ve fought back — I’m the one that’s kicking its ass now.
What advice or guidance would you give to someone who has been recently diagnosed with HIV?
The days after are rough — don’t be ashamed of the breakdown. You’ll feel better as your health gets better. It just takes time and patience.
Do you have any hints or tips for people on how to respond to HIV stigma or discrimination?
I use music to get me through. I’m a DJ, so I know how powerful music is on our minds and bodies. I always encourage people to find their music or movies — something that helps them laugh or get hyped-up.
Keep a calendar — put things on it, no matter how small — always look forward. Tomorrow can and will be better.
Everyone gets knocked down in life. It’s about how you stand back up.
Sharing the stories of our community
It’s not easy to talk about HIV, but talking about your experience can help to build your confidence and understanding of what HIV means for you. Your story can also help others who are processing their own experiences with HIV.
If you’d like to share your story with the readers of Mainly Male, please email [email protected]
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