I caught up with Twitter buddy Londonsub and asked him a few personal questions.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
I can pinpoint it to where I was living, as we moved around a lot during the whole of my childhood. I was 12. I was a terribly innocent and naive boy, a loner and a late developer — two months short of my 23rd birthday before I even had a wank with anyone else.
I didn’t even know what masturbation was when I started. No brothers, and my father never brought up the subject. I used to lie in bed at night in my pyjamas and rub my body up and down against the mattress while thinking about boys I fancied, and find myself soaking every time without even knowing what it was.
It seems incredible that I had no idea, when I was academically very bright — but I’m talking about 50 years ago, when there weren’t easy ways of looking these things up.
I carried on like this for many months before it occurred to me to use my hands. Often I woke up from wet dreams without even touching myself.
Maybe because I’ve got a small penis — I’m only 4 inches hard now, so goodness knows what it measured at age 12— using my hand didn’t seem an obvious thing to do.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
Confused, I suppose, but I knew it was pleasurable. I fantasised about older boys and didn’t feel bad about that, but I never imagined I could actually expect them to get physical with me.
Did you talk about it with anyone?
No, I was far too shy and embarrassed to think I could mention it to anyone. I was a nerdy, studious kid, and as I was constantly being moved from place to place I never had a chance to get close to other boys.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
It was all very rudimentary. What really varied were my fantasies. I had, and still have, a very active imagination.
I never used any kind of lube then, as I was pretty much self-lubricating. I still don’t bother much with lube now if it’s just me jerking off on my own.
Can you remember the first time you talked to someone else about jacking off?
Not until I’d finally begun doing it with other guys, at the ridiculously advanced age of 23.
How has you jack-off style evolved over the years?
Usually I’m standing, in the shower or perched over the toilet, but sometimes on my knees if I’m feeling especially submissive and imagining the humiliation of being caught.
I’ve always been an exhibitionist, so being watched, or the risk of being seen, really intensifies it. I remember at age 17, wanking naked at the kitchen window so that the guys on the building site might see me. At 18, in a flat my parents rented for the summer, I was constantly wanking naked in bed as my bedroom was overlooked by the men’s toilet in a casino just opposite. I’d still find that exciting.
In my twenties, I was so excited to be finally meeting guys that I sometimes came just by standing naked in front of them, humiliated to be turned on and hard, without touching myself or being touched by them.
I’ve learned over the years that having my balls tickled, even by me, makes me stay harder and cum more. Up until my mid-fifties I used to shoot a huge amount, spurt after spurt. If I was lying down, the cum would land on my face or fly over my head and hit the wall. My partner would often have me open my mouth while wanking me off in that position and see if he could make me cum straight into my mouth. It was like target practice.
I’m now in my mid-sixties, and sadly I produce far less — especially as a result of having had prostate cancer. I’m glad it all still works, but it’s disappointing that I cum relatively little now, and that my semen is almost transparent.
I used to love the look of amazement on guys’ faces when they saw me cum so much and so far. They often stupidly assumed that a tiny cock would also produce a tiny amount. It was always fun to surprise them — even more if they were sucking me off after ridiculing me, and seeing them choked by my cum.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
I like doing it in public more than ever!
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Find what works for you, and don’t worry if you’ve got such a tiny dick that two fingers work better than a hand. Don’t assume that doing it harder is going to make it better. A lot of the best results come from what’s happening in your mind.
We want to hear your opinion
Photography that embraces naked men
“Stop comparing ourselves to strangers on the internet…”
I caught up with photographer Anthony Patrick Manieri to talk about his ongoing series of work known as Arrested Movement.
Why do you think this project has captured the imagination of gay men around the world?
Because we’re all the same really, except we don’t all look alike. We usually just see what society deems to be the ‘perfect’ body types, flashed across TV and social media all the time.
This project encompasses a wide variety of men that are photographed equally and beautifully. I feel that the variety of men and body shapes being highlighted are recognisable to most men. We need to see diversity represented more in the media. That, and also the idea of male body positivity is refreshing in a world where the media seems to only push female body positivity. In this day and age, where depression and anxiety are extremely commonplace, it’s nice to know that we’re not alone in the struggle.
Why are men so keen to be photographed by you for this project?
Because we all want to fit in. We all want to be accepted, and here is a photographic series celebrating all men, all body types, and showcasing them artistically. I think men look at this and can relate and identify with some of the participating models, because they see themselves in the photos.
Most of the men you’ve photographed for this project appear to be first-time models, most likely being professionally photographed naked for the first time. Was that experience confronting for many of your models?
From what I’ve seen, and from what some of my assistants mentioned to me, for most of the men that participate there’s a definite shift in their overall energy levels from when they first arrive at the studio to when they’re done. One assistant asked me — “What is going on in the studio? Because when they arrive they’re quite scared, some even shake with nerves, but when they leave they glow and have this sense of empowerment.”
I make sure that the studio is private and a safe space for them to try and feel as comfortable as possible. I brief them, and coach them with suggestions of possible body movement. I also stop periodically to show the gentlemen their progression so far in the shoot.
Most men, after seeing themselves on the screen during the shoot, are delightfully impressed by how they look. They look at themselves in a positive light artistically, and not what they usually expect to see. I talk to them about how their hands are positioned, their facial expressions, pointing of their feet, and the overall lines of their bodies in the frame.
When you’re not quite happy with your body, putting yourself out there is brave. I watch some men almost lose themselves in the moment and in the music. I’m grateful that I get to witness such a personal moment of self-evolution. For others, they’re determined to take an amazing photo, so they push themselves so that their final image is strong and unique.
Should everyone tackle a naked photo shoot at some point in their lives?
I don’t know if that’s the answer. What people should do is take time to appreciate and accept themselves, to put themselves first. Fill their own cups before extinguishing their energy with others. Uniqueness is special. It’s okay to look different on the outside, because we’re all the same on the inside.
How is the project continuing to evolve?
I’m currently working on the design of the book — I’ll be releasing a Kickstarter page this Fall. I’m also looking at gallery spaces to have the first of many shows.
Are you still actively shooting guys for this project?
I’m still actively photographing men. If it were up to me, I’d be in a different city every weekend photographing.
Since I’m funding this myself, I need to take breaks between cities. Travelling, studio costs, and hotels add up quickly. There are a few cities in the US, Canada, and Mexico that I’d like to do before heading back to Europe. Beyond that, there’s talk of Australia, and possibly some cities in South America for 2019.
How can we help each other feel better about our bodies?
I think we really need to be kind to ourselves, and each other — daily. Judgement and self-judgement is such a human flaw, it’s like a vibrational plague. We should be detaching ourselves from our smart-phones and social media regularly. Yoga and meditation are great ways to feel centred and grounded, to be in tune with our higher self. Eating right always makes for a happier body and mind. We need to encourage and validate each other to be the best we can be.
What do the images that you’ve captured through this project tell us about gay men and their relationship with their bodies?
Gay culture is meant to be inclusive, and we celebrate that inclusiveness. Though within the gay community, there’s such a divide between men. We’re labelled and put in categories, therefore creating almost a hierarchy of what’s acceptable.
Body-image and self-esteem start in your own mind, not on Instagram. We need to literally stop comparing ourselves to strangers on the internet. We need to make mental health a priority in the gay community.
I hope that when people see this project, they know their worth, they know that they’re beautiful, and that it’s okay to be different.
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