I caught up with author Kyler Fey and asked him a few personal questions.
Can you remember the first time you jacked-off?
I don’t recall a specific first time, but I remember clearly that I was actually doing it regularly for quite a long time before I was even capable of making cum — probably starting when I was ten.
I remember, during these early days of it, experiencing again and again this wild sensation of having hit some kind of sensory barrier where my dick simply became so sensitive that I couldn’t play with it anymore. It would go soft, and I’d have to wait a while before I could get hard and do it again.
Being a very curious boy, I did some research on this phenomenon and realised that I was probably having orgasms but that I wasn’t making any spunk yet.
How did you feel when you first jacked off?
My first actual ejaculation happened during the summer, a couple months before my twelfth birthday.
My jacking-off method at the time usually involved humping a pillow, while having an elaborate fantasy about another boy. One afternoon, while doing this, I reached the expected orgasm threshold, but this time it felt a little different — I realised that something had come out of my cock, and that I’d made a little wet spot on the pillow.
I was very fucking thrilled about this, because I’d been waiting for that moment for a long time already. I also realised that, going forward, playing with my cock was going to start making a little mess that I’d have to find ways of dealing with.
I was very secretive about it for the first few years. I was an only child — so no older brother who had been through it first — and things like this weren’t talked about with my parents. Also. I didn’t have a lot of close male friends, and the couple that I did have at the time were probably running a little bit behind me on getting started with jacking off and cumming.
I knew basically what was going on with my body when that first cum-spurt happened, because we had decent sex ed in my school. Also, being a bookish lad, I read as much about sex and dudes and dicks and sperm as I possibly could — constantly searching the public library for more info. This was in the days before the internet.
My mom owned, hidden away in a cache of secret sex books, a copy of Nancy Fridays’ 1980 volume Men In Love, which fascinated the hell out of me. It’s a compilation of hundreds of male sex anecdotes and fantasies, organised by theme, that the author solicited by way of ads asking dudes to send her their stories. I was at home alone a lot, so I’d read this book for a while — and usually jack off about something I’d read — and then put it back in its hiding place that so she wouldn’t know that I’d gotten into her secret books.
Weirdly, this odd book had three very good sex-positive effects on me. First, I understood that jacking off is totally normal and probably universal among young males. Second, that gay dudes exist — there was a section of stories in that book from non-straight guys, and I was very slowly trying to understand and accept why other boys made my dick hard. Third, that it’s totally normal to have really wild sex fantasies, even ones that you wouldn’t really enact in real life.
Did you try any different techniques in those early years?
At some point fairly early on, I switched from almost always using the humping-the-pillow method to almost always the right-fist method while lying on my back, though I’d switch it up sometimes.
I was also always looking for ways to make myself cum without touching my cock, because I figured that would feel more like ‘real’ sex, which I’d yet to experience. Successful experiments in this pursuit included pressing my dick against the flow of the water-fill jet in the swimming pool that we had in the backyard at the time. It would take a while, but eventually it stimulated me enough to jizz in the water.
Another triumphant method was fucking a melon. During the summer that I was thirteen, we had a garden with cantaloupe growing in it. It occurred to me to carve a hole into one of them and stick my cock into it. This was, at that time in my life, a totally mind-blowing way to do it — once I got the dick-hole cut to the correct size. Obviously, I couldn’t use this amazing method very often lest suspicion arise over the rapid disappearance of our melon crop. I still do this once in a while for a special treat.
Also, while still in the early days of being able to cum, I experimented with my ass a little bit, occasionally inserting food items like hot dogs and carrots into it. I also figured out that massaging my nuts with the other hand while stroking my cock feels really good.
I was off and on with lube, usually not using any because I didn’t like dealing with the mess of it. Sometimes I’d use my own spit, imagining that this would make it feel like a blowjob, but that usually wasn’t very satisfactory because I found that I couldn’t spit enough to keep the ideal sensation going for long enough. Also, I was a kid and I didn’t know about nor have access to proper lubes, so when I did slick it up it would always be with random stuff around the house like Vaseline, sunscreen, cooking oil, or soap.
Sometimes I’d have days when my cock was chafed from overdoing it, so I’d restrict myself to jerking it in the shower with some kind of lube. I learned that if I had a sore spot then the soap might sting. It seems, however, that penis skin heals quickly. I still injure myself a little bit from time to time, but it’s never more than a brief bother.
Can you remember the first time you talked to someone else about jacking off?
I remember that first time very vividly. During my sophomore year of high school, I was hanging out in my bedroom with my closest friend at that time, and he was helping me pack stuff into boxes because I was moving to a different house. We were mostly just wasting time and sharing a couple beers and smokes that I’d stolen from my dad, and not getting much packing done.
He opened a trunk at the end of my bed. I used to store all kinds of random stuff in that trunk, including an old red t-shirt that I’d been using for months to wipe cum off my body after jacking off in bed on my back every night before going to sleep. That cum-rag shirt, so heavily stained and crusty and wadded, was somehow lifted out of trunk along with something else that he’d grabbed. I remember how it hung from one of his fingers, a stiff cotton graveyard of billions of my sperm.
He and I both realised at the same moment what he’d found, and I was about to be totally embarrassed, but then he said something like — “Dude, this a really weird place to store this. I usually stick mine under my mattress.” It was seriously cool of him to volunteer that information up-front, because it made jacking off a thing that we could freely talk about from that point on with neither of us being shy or weird about it. It was simply out in the open between us that we were both daily masturbators, and that we both liked to use a thoroughly semen-saturated t-shirt as a clean-up tool. I think it helped, also, that he was a year older than me — even though we were in the same class in school — so he’d had a bit more time to get casual about his own beating off.
One regret I still harbour from that time is that I didn’t think that I could tell him that I’m gay — it was nearly unheard of to be out as gay in that place and time. I learned years later that he would have been cool with it — and that he’d secretly suspected it about me — and that I could have been more up-front with him about what was in my head that was turning me on so much during all that jacking off.
How has your jack-off style evolved over the years?
Because of my age — I’m over 40 now — I lived through the early era of online porn and sex chat. During my twenties, I ended up moving toward somewhat less frequent ejaculations but a lot more total time spent on jacking-off sessions. This is because I was edging it for long periods of time with other dudes in chatrooms or on the phone, and holding back my load so that I could ‘do’ a few other guys that evening without having to recharge after a cum-shot.
When I was teenager, with no porn media or other random guys assisting me, I’d make myself cum about as often as possible. Four or five times in a day was not at all uncommon, but I tended to do it really quickly. I’d even choke it in the restroom at school because I couldn’t wait until I got home. What I was physically doing didn’t change much — it was still always pulling on my prick with my right hand — but more and more often that was done while interacting online somehow in all those free chatrooms that there used to be on AOL and Yahoo.
Now those chat days are gone, and I’m obviously not a teenager or twenty-something guy anymore, so I’m not cumming quite as often — I tend to extend and savour the experience a bit more.
What’s your preferred way to jack-off currently?
I guess I don’t change it up much. It’s usually either standing up in the bathroom in front of the mirror — while I am getting ready for work and shooting a load in the sink — or in bed on my back and shooting cum on my belly.
Both my husband I also sometimes do it during sex with each other, or when we’re having a three-way with another dude. Often he’ll fuck my ass and cum inside me, and I’ll be jerking-off during it and make myself cum either on myself or on him.
I’m still mostly an everyday ejaculator by one means or another. In the last couple of years, however, I’ve been writing and publishing a series of erotic novels. I find that I write that kind of story faster and better when I’m really horny — during periods when I have time to make a lot of progress on a story or when I’m doing the final draft on it, I’ll prohibit myself from shooting a load so that I don’t lose my hard-on and the the momentum on the writing. During these periods, I’m still constantly masturbating, just not letting myself go all the way and spunking out. This orgasm-denial regime can sometimes go on for days, and during these periods, I’m constantly oozing pre-jac and sometimes leaking out a spurt of jizz right after I take a piss, because it needs to get out somehow.
What jack-off hints or tips would you give a young guy just starting to explore his sexuality?
Firstly, don’t be afraid of your own body nor let anyone shame you for it for any reason. Secondly, jacking off is totally normal and natural for most guys, and it’s a great thing for you to enjoy by yourself and perhaps someday with someone else.
Other things good to know about playing with your cock are that there’s no one ‘right’ way to do it, that you also have an ass-hole and balls and nipples and other parts of your body that might also feel good to play with while you’re stroking it, and that sex is not just about fucking as the end goal. You can get off awesomely all by yourself, and knowing these things about yourself and your own body will help you be a better lover when you do get it on with someone else.
Less important, but perhaps still useful for the young man — at least consider using lube, especially if you’re circumcised. Also, try to do it once in a while somewhere very private where you don’t have to worry about anyone hearing — it’s hot as fuck to moan and yell and cry when you shoot it.
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Blowjobs in Berlin
Want to know how to give the best blowjob of your life? Michael Soze of Boner Magazine has put together this handy guide.
Why is it called a blowjob?
The name itself isn’t particularly accurate. Nothing is blown here. The theory is that the term is derived from the slang of English prostitutes — to ‘blow off’ was to drain the steam, to release the pressure from the pipe.
Who invented the blowjob?
The earliest recorded blowjobs have been found on papyrus scrolls from Ancient Egypt. But the blowjob also appears in the records of the ancient civilisations of China and India. It’s a practice that also seems to have been celebrated by Native American tribes. Even today, there are tribes in Papua New Guinea where boys swallow the sperm of an adult as part of their initiation rite. Blowjobs have power.
Who wants a blowjob?
While blowjobs are generally accepted as a fairly normal part of a sexual encounter, studies suggest that 50 percent of straight guys report that they want to receive more oral sex.
Turn-offs or turn-ons?
If you’re guy who’s hooking-up with another guy, it’s a pretty safe assumption that blowjobs will be on the menu.
But not all guys are into the same things, so until you’ve got a bit familiar with each other you might want to play it safe to ensure that some repeat business is an option.
Cleanliness is usually a good starting point. Sure, lots of guys are into sweat and stank, but if you’re expecting a blowjob from a guy you don’t really know then having a shower and ensuring that you’re minty fresh is a sensible move.
Manscaping is something to consider. If you’re a hairy guy, a bit of a pre-blowjob trim might be a good option. Not only will it reduce the amount of stray hairs flying around, but it presents your package in its prime.
Take your time
Depending on the encounter that you’re having, a blowjob maybe all that you’ve got time for. However, if you’re not in a rush, taking your time with each other will result in a better blowjob all round and will probably lead to a further exploration of the fun that you can have together.
Practice makes perfect
Here’s some things to think about if you’re wanting to deliver a great blowjob:
- Make him wait. You know you’re going to give him a blowjob. He knows you’re going to give him a blowjob. But don’t just dive straight in there. Foreplay of any description is all about building the anticipation and expectation. If the first step on the sexual road-map of your encounter is getting your mouth on his cock, gradually work your way towards that. Use your lips and hands to explore his body. Slowly undress him. When you eventually peel down his underwear and his cock springs free he should be so ready for you that he’s begging you to put your mouth to work.
- Get him wet. Once you’ve got his cock in your hands and your mouth ready to go, don’t think that you’ve got to get his cock into the back of your throat as quickly as possible. Ideally, that’s where you’re heading, but take your time. Use your lips, use your tongue. Work your mouth up and down his shaft — get as much saliva as you can all over every inch of his cock. Keep jacking him while you’re working your mouth on him. Get your tongue into his balls. If he’s got a foreskin then give that as much attention as possible. Get him so turned on that he’s aching to feel your lips wrap around the head of his cock.
- When you can’t resist any more, let the head of his cock start to slide across your tongue. Try and stay in control of the pace and momentum of the encounter. If you’re doing it right, by this point he’s going to be tempted to just grab hold of your head and throat-fuck you, but if you show him that you know what you’re doing he’ll want to experience everything you’ve got.
- While you’re taking his cock in your mouth, keep using your hands on him. Jacking his cock while you’re sucking him, alternating your mouth and your hands. Some guys really respond to a bit of a twisting action as you work up and down their cock-shaft. Keep playing with his balls.
- The general rule with a blowjob is no teeth. The cock is obviously a sensitive part of the body, and teeth are generally a bit of a boner killer. However, if you’re having an encounter that’s a bit more intense then you might not have to worry so much if your teeth are occasionally making contact with his cock.
- When it comes to blowjobs, saliva is your friend. You need his cock to be spit-slick and as wet as possible. Don’t worry about slobbering all over him, that’s what you’ve got to do. If your mouth is getting dry, it’s handy to keep a bottle of water handy. You can use lubricant if you want, but nothing beats a spit-slick cock.
- A good blowjob will often lead to rimming, but that’s a whole separate article, so we’re not going to address that here. Except to say that we’re obviously in favour. We love rimming. You also might want to use your fingers on his hole or fucking into him. Some guys really like that while they’re getting their cock sucked, for others it feels a bit like a distraction. Give it a try, the way his body responds will let you know how he feels about it.
- As the heat between you builds, you’re going to be taking his cock deeper and deeper into your mouth and into your throat. It can take a bit of practice to build confidence and experience to know what it feels like to have a hard cock slamming into your throat. Take your time, do what you feel comfortable with. Breathing through your nose helps. The more you can relax, the deeper you’ll be able to take him. There’s nothing quite so blissful as feeling his balls slapping against your chin or nose as he slams his hard cock into the back of your throat. This is where you both lose yourself in the intensity of the moment — all he can think about is fucking your throat, and all you can think about is servicing his cock.
When you lose yourself in the pleasure of giving an awesome blowjob, it’s fairly likely that from time to time his cock will slam so deep into your throat that you’ll gag a bit. It’s no big deal, don’t panic, just slow down the pace a little, re-focus, and get back to work.
It’s not always easy to multi-task while you’re focused on giving a great blow-job. If you’ve got a spare hand, give his nipples some attention. Twisting them hard is a great way to intensify what he’s feeling.
Giving a blowjob is one of the most intimate things you can do with a guy. It’s really important that you’re totally present in the experience. You don’t need to have constant eye-contact, that would probably raise some red flags, but looking him in the eye while you’re sucking his cock is a real turn-on and demonstrates the sexual connection you have with him.
Leave the bad dialogue to vintage porn. Your mouth should be too busy to say anything, and all you want to hear from him are grunts of pleasure.
These are a bit superfluous if you’re giving a blowjob to a guy on a one-off random hook-up, but if you’ve got repeat business and you want to mix things up a bit then here’s a few tricks you can try:
- Warm your mouth with warm water, this gives him a different sensation.
- Heat up half a grapefruit. Squeeze it and cut off the end — you’re effectively making a grapefruit flesh-jack. Push his cock through it and jack him with the grapefruit while you’re also sucking him.
- Suck on a mint and then lick his cock-head. It will give him an intense tingling sensation.
- Play with your food. Whipped cream, chocolate sauce, or honey can all be good fun.
Spit or swallow?
- Obviously, your encounter may not end with the blowjob, so how you enjoy each other’s cum could be a question at a different stage in proceedings.
- There are some studies that suggest that 90 percent of guys don’t swallow — that they prefer the cum to spray over their chest or their face. That number seems high to me, so we might need to do some more research on that.
- Sure, it may not taste exactly like pineapple juice, but feeling a guy’s cum pumping down your throat is pretty satisfying and a great testament to your blowjob skills.
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