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Gavin Hay (image supplied) Gavin Hay (image supplied)

Interviews

Gavin Hay: Daddy Issues

Gavin Hay (image supplied)

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Gavin Hay is the man behind gay porn studios Alphamales, and Eurocreme, as well as post-production agency Cherry Cherry. When he was in front of the camera, he went by the name of Trojan Rock.

I caught up with Gavin to talk about whether being called Daddy is something that we should be embracing.

How old were you when you first had sex with a guy?

Well, as I remember I had a car then. An electric blue Ford Cortina, so I must have been 17.

What was it like?

It was a beauty — and the guy was pretty damn hot. We weren’t gay. We would drop off our girlfriends after a night out and head for Margate Seafront car park. We’d ask each other if our respective girlfriends did ‘this’ or ‘that’ to us, and if it felt the same. There was probably no kissing.

Remember, in those days we had only John Inman and Larry Grayson as role models, so we had no idea. We weren’t hosting the Generation Game, nor were we working in a department store. Seriously — I had no idea.

I was physically sick the first time I kissed my best friend. I was petrified at the level of excitement I felt. I thought I must be a bad person. Depraved. My head swirled. We didn’t know anything about being homosexual, beyond that it was wrong.

How did you learn about sex with guys?

A hell of a lot of secret liaisons. A lot of — ‘I’m not really gay, I’m just experimental…’

When you made the move into porn, were you confident that you would be able to have sex on camera?

Oddly, I was. I was 40. It was a strange move for a guy who’d spent his thirties wearing V-neck jumpers and corduroy trousers.

In terms of the sex that we see in gay porn, how authentic is that?

What is authentic sex? Sex on camera is nothing like the sex I have with my husband. It is authentic, in that it is sex — you can’t get away from that. Is it satisfying and fulfilling? It would depend on the day, the co-star, the direction, the costume, my mood.

It’s nowhere near my reality nowadays, but while I was having casual sex on a daily basis, yes, it mirrored my reality. But I’m a monogamous guy — I was pretending to be someone else.

In your experience, what type of guys are best in bed?

In my persona as Trojan Rock, it’s all about the perfect cock, the perfect abs, the perfect pecs. To be able to say — ‘I had that… I was good enough for him… He got off on me…’

But nothing beats my husband’s eyes — it’s all about our chemistry, it’s about our love and respect for each other. It’s about trust.

As we get older, it’s easy for gay guys to start to feel a bit invisible — we start to feel that we’re too old for the clubs, too old for the apps, too old to be seen as desirable. What advice would you give to older gay guys to help boost their confidence?

I have mates older than me — in their 60s — who are so uncontrollable and still out there having daily encounters. Still good-looking, in a more mature way.

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You know, that’s just not for me nowadays. It isn’t all about clubs and hunting. Done that, been there. For me, I’m happy and content to be finding out what it’s like to share life-experiences with a soul-mate.

For those still searching for sex, or a partner, I’d say just go out and get on with it. Have fun.

As an older gay guy, is being called “Daddy” a compliment?

This is the biggest debate amongst my friends of a certain age. For me, being called a Daddy is about attitude. For others, it relates to age. I’d imagine that if you’re a bottom, the idea of being called Daddy might just freak you out.

Whatever age you are, sex can be a bit scary, it’s when we’re at our most vulnerable. Do you still get a bit nervous or apprehensive before sex?

Actually, sort of. Even though for the past six years I’ve only had sex with my husband, I do sometimes start to get a bit nervous about being the stud he thinks he married, or wants me to be. He’s 14 years younger than me.

I’m getting older and, let’s be honest, fatter. However, I do relax — in the knowledge that ultimately we are what each other wants. It isn’t about body perfection, it’s about pleasure.

What makes a guy sexy?

Knowing what he wants. Also, good thighs, a strong back, and a bubble butt.

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Arts & Culture

Giving a voice to gay Arab men

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Samer Bo (image supplied)
Samer Bo (image supplied)

I caught up with author Samer Bo to talk about writing erotic gay fiction in Egypt.

What led you to start writing erotic gay fiction?

I was forgetting what was happening. I noticed that when someone asked me about what happened to me the previous week, I couldn’t remember the details.

I think forgetting was my defence-mechanism for all the pain and trouble.

So, I started by writing my diaries, which ended to be quite erotic sometimes. Then that moved to erotic fiction.

Where do you draw inspiration from for your stories?

Inspiration comes from my personal experiences and sometimes my friends’ experiences. Other times, I just meet a guy or watch a movie, and it inspires me to write a story.

Who are your target audience?

I write for myself before anyone else. I’d love all gay men to read and get aroused by my stories.

But I guess I do write for minorities — people who don’t usually get represented in media, porn, or erotic stories. I want people to see themselves represented in my novels.

What sort of feedback do you get from your readers?

I get a lot of positive feedback from people in the Middle East who finally find a voice speaking to them. Some see me as a role model — a type of Egyptian guy that they never see in the media.

Do your friends and family know that you write erotic gay fiction?

Only some close friends know. I’m not in touch with my family anyway. Samer is my real name, but I changed my last name to Bo.

Have you had any negative reactions to the gay erotic fiction that you write?

I only tell people about my writing if I know that they’re either gay or gay friendly. So I haven’t had negative reactions in that respect.

However, I have had multiple incidents of homophobia. I was arrested once.

Son of the President isn’t an erotic story, how did that story come to you?

That story is based on the real-life story of an older friend that I met a few years ago. I told him about my erotic stories, and he asked me to write an erotic story inspired by his experiences.

However, I felt that if I wrote it as erotica, it would take away from the essence of the story. So I left it as non-erotic story.

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What do you hope that people feel when reading your stories?

First of all, aroused from my erotic stories. Plus, I want people to feel represented.

Gay Arabs are not represented in any kind of media. We’re being suppressed and discriminated against. A lot of gay men in the Middle East feel that being gay is wrong, and that homosexuality is a sin.

This is my small way to help those men feel better about themselves.

What are some of your goals and ambitions for the remainder of 2018?

More stories, maybe some non-erotic ones. I’m also helping a friend of mine to change his non-erotic short story into a play.

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