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We surveyed 120 gay men and asked them some personal questions about their sexual fantasies.

Here’s what we found out.

Is a Daddy/Son role-play something that fuels your fantasies?

  • Yes: 74%
  • No: 18%
  • Unsure: 8%

“Age differences have always intrigued me. In my 20s, I much preferred men who were 10 or 20 years older than me. Since my 40s, I’ve preferred men in their 20s, though I can be attracted to men closer to my own age, too.” — anonymous survey respondent

“It’s hot. There’s something about the bond between Dad and son that many of us didn’t have.” — anonymous survey respondent

“When I was in my teens, I used to like older guys. Now I’m older, and teenagers calling me Daddy turns me on.” — anonymous survey respondent

“I enjoy fantasising about forbidden situations.” — anonymous survey respondent

“I’m young, and like the idea of an older man fucking me. Also, I like to see an older guy teaching a younger guy what to do.” — anonymous survey respondent

“When I was a teen, I loved it when older men took me in hand to train me up in the joys of sex. Now, as an older man, I enjoy training up young men.” — anonymous survey respondent

Do you ever identify as a Daddy in your sexual encounters?

  • Yes: 45%
  • No — I’m too young: 19%
  • No — It’s not an identity that I connect with: 30%
  • Unsure: 6%

Do you ever identify as a Son in your sexual encounters?

  • Yes: 48%
  • No — I’m too old: 26%
  • No — It’s not an identity that I connect with: 22%
  • Unsure: 4%

Why do you think a Daddy/Son role-play appeals to you?

  • It doesn’t appeal to me: 15%
  • I had a good relationship with my father: 2%
  • I had a difficult relationship with my father: 9%
  • I enjoy the inter-generational power dynamic: 36%
  • I don’t know, it just turns me on: 19%
  • Other: 19%

Responses marked as Other could generally be categorised as either “It just turns me on” or “power dynamic.”

What does survey this tell us?

  • The Daddy/Son role-play fantasy is a fairly common fantasy for gay men.
  • There is a proportion of gay men that don’t in any way identify with the Daddy/Son role-play fantasy.
  • Gay men often adapt the fantasy as they age— you may have identified as a ‘son’ when younger, but you can embrace the role of ‘daddy’ as you get older.
  • The inter-generational power dynamic is the key driver of this fantasy for most gay men.

Survey methodology

  • We created a survey on MailChimp and ran it for 14 days in September 2018.
  • We sought volunteers to complete the survey through Twitter and LinkedIn, targeting gay men.
  • No incentives were offered to respondents to complete the survey.
  • 120 respondents completed the survey.
  • The results were manually analysed.

Read more from Gareth Johnson

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Arts & Culture

Outdoors Cruising: the art behind the bushes

On a quest for anonymous and casual sex? ‘Cruising’ is not dead!



outdoors cruising antonio da silva
© Still from "Cruising in the Park", Antonio da Silva (Edited)

Outdoors cruising is not dead!

We have all heard stories of the ‘old days’, before mobile apps and even gay bars, when homosexuality was a taboo – and in many countries illegal – outdoors cruising was the only way for gay men to be able to find a sexual encounter.

Nowadays, homosexuality is no longer criminal in most of the western world and technology is here to stay. Socialising with our friends or acquaintances behind a screen and finding a sexual partner has never been easier. But some still prefer the rush and the forbidden pleasure of a casual outdoors hook up with a random stranger.

If you think that the rise of new technologies and that the closure of gay adult entertainment venues is killing cruising – think again.

outdoors cruising couple

© Still from “Cruising in the Park“, Antonio da Silva

From underground culture to art

Outdoors cruising has been source of inspiration for many artists, Touko Laaksonen (a.k.a. Tom of Finland) being one of the most recognisable names exploring the artistic potential of cruising.

Many young artists have proved that this element of the sexuality of gay men is alive, well and more popular than ever and their artwork exhibited in screens and galleries all over the world.

A brilliant example of that new generation of artists is Antonio da Silva – a young award-winning Portuguese experimental filmmaker that explores the hidden side of homoerotic culture in a voyeuristic and indie way.

On his official site he explains:

“I have always been fascinated by male sex and sexuality. I became increasingly frustrated with how moving image explored this and have begun to make it the subject of my films over the last three years. I do not consider myself a pornographer but a filmmaker who use my background to choreograph short films with explicit sex themes.”

Since 2011, when he launched his first short film “Mates” – an intimate view into the world of online hook ups – Antonio has been exploring many current themes of the gay culture such as fetish, voyeurism and, of course, outdoors cruising.

Each film is a mystic combination of sound, image and movement that captivates the viewer from the first second and has granted him a space in some of the most wanted film festivals all over the world.

From the ‘hidden camera’ documentary style of Bankers, the dance-based choreographic scenes of Dancers, to the futuristic – and almost stroboscopic – view into the world of online gay sex of Spunk, Antonio keeps experimenting and delighting his viewers with the most captivating homoerotic short films.

“Cruising in the Park” – a sensorial immersion into the cruising scene

On his most recent work – “Cruising in the Park” – Antonio teamed up with Fabio Lopes to take us on a journey into the world of outdoors cruising. Moving away from the mainstream staged pornographic cinematography, it combines low angle and close up shots with a real audio experience and narrative giving us a sensation of first-person experience.

And, if just like me, you are a massive fan of movie/series adaptation of dark themed comic books like Jessica Jones and Watchmen, you will fall in love with Rodrigo Penalosa’s deep voiced narrator’s commentary throughout the film.

Don’t believe me, then watch the trailer (NSFW) below:

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